You can’t call it fate, you made it yourself

Connecting what happened to you to fate is nothing but an attempt to deceive oneself.

The word “fate” is defined as synonymous with the words fortune, fortune, and destiny, in the Turkish Language Association Dictionary. But despite being synonymous, we use the word “destiny” more often than others. Moreover, we have given this word plenty of place in our proverbs and idioms. “Fate of Fate”, “Submitting to Fate”, “Prisoner of Fate” etc.

There is also a concept derived from this word; “Fatalism”… Fatalism is actually a paradigm based on the belief that human life is predetermined by a supernatural power or forces. It would be unfair to say that this concept encompasses the whole of our society, but it is a fact that it is reflected in the daily life, attitudes and behaviors of many people who share similar socio-cultural variables in Turkish society. Considering the dimensions of fatalism, especially reflected in daily life, we see that it is in close connection with the defense mechanisms that we often talk about in psychology.

Fatalism, among the defense mechanisms categorized under 9 main headings, mostly overlaps with Rationalization. Reasoning is finding a plausible reason to avoid uncomfortable, painful, or distressing situations. In a way, it is similar to the phrase “find an excuse”. For example, a person who has extreme fears and concerns about losing the person he/she loves, as a result of the termination of the relationship due to his/her faulty behaviors (extreme jealousy, oppressing the other party, limiting their freedom, etc.), “it means that he doesn’t love me”, “that means I’m not valuable to him” He will try to comfort himself by saying “This is our destiny” and try to get over this trauma as easily as possible by creating a reasonable way out.

Throughout history, we can see that the phenomenon of “destiny” has been used as an explanation and an element of comfort in many areas of human life. However, when we approach the issue from a rationalist point of view, people are condemned to live with the consequences of what they do or do not do. Connecting what happened to you to fate is nothing but an attempt to deceive oneself.

Finally, I would like to ask you to do yourself a favor. Now, put aside the work at hand and open this song in hicaz maqam, with lyrics by Kemal Yarbaykoç and composition by Ali İhsan Kısaç, from your mobile phone or computer, and listen with great pleasure by closing your eyes…

“You can’t call it fate, you did it yourself”

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