Life is like a long and twisted road. The degree of length is often our own. Sometimes we are the ones who make the road longer when there are shortcuts and intermediate roads. Sometimes we cannot see, and sometimes we do not want to see these roads. We can lengthen it when it is too short; We can’t choose, we don’t want to choose… Sometimes we come to such a separation that when there is a choice to choose the easy route and actually choose the shorter route, another route that we do not know and have not taken before is very attractive to us. We prefer one of these roads because of our mood at that crossroads, what we are there for, and sometimes because of requests for which we do not know the reason.
Crossroads lead us and our life process to different paths, situations and people. At each separation, another result or process awaits us. Sometimes we anticipate which road will lead where and what situations it will leave us with. Sometimes we come to a point where we don’t know where we’re going, whether we’re going or not. This is more than not wanting to know, it is really a state of obscurity and helplessness.
Today, we’re going to talk about exactly this point that the person is in: Indecision.
Instability; In simple language, it is the inability to make a choice, plan or act from among the options available in line with one’s own feelings, thoughts, beliefs and personal life. We can say that indecision equals inactivity.
When it comes to indecision, I always think of Buridan’s donkey:
– A donkey that is both hungry and thirsty cannot decide between a bale of straw and water placed at an equal distance from it, and dies of both hunger and thirst.
The story briefly gives us the message that “the worst decision is better than indecision”. Indecision can lead us to the worst decision possible.
The person sometimes smiles in his life; Cannot/has difficulty in answering questions such as “what should I do in the evening, what should I wear on my way to work today, whether I should buy my dress in blue or red, etc.”
Why do we become indecisive?
* The biggest factor that causes indecision is the person’s inability to recognize himself. It is not knowing what he likes, what he is interested in, what will make him happy. We are not sure about ourselves.
*Another aspect is environmental factors rather than ourselves. When you want to buy an outfit, when we look in the mirror, there is a situation like “I like it very much, I will definitely buy it”, but then thoughts such as “I wonder what my mother will say, will my father object, will our neighbors dislike me and talk badly about me, etc.” and indecision appears. it starts. At this point, the person gets stuck between himself and his environment, and at this point he experiences an indecision. A topic emerges that he/she has to choose/prefer; Is it their own wishes or is it important what the family or the environment thinks?
*Another factor underlying one’s indecision is the fear of being criticized. A person who wants to be accepted and has a feeling of inadequacy is afraid of being the target of criticism arrows coming from the environment with the choice or decision he will make. This fear makes the person indecisive between himself and his fear.
Napoleon Hill says “If you are influenced by the opinions of others, you are not confident enough in your own opinion.”
* A person’s desire to make the right choice and not make a mistake also pushes the person to indecision. Along with his perfectionist attitude, the problematic of not knowing which option will achieve a better result also immobilizes the person.
Indecision always pushes a person back from their current position. It increases its distance to its goals and dreams.
It is not always possible to make perfect choices in life. The fear and indecisiveness of the perfectionist attitude tire the person in a temporal sense. Searching for the perfect option creates more options. Therefore, it increases indecision.
At the point of choices, the person should ask himself the questions. What one wants is very important; even if it’s not a wrong or imperfect decision.
Gandhi said, “You cannot be sentenced in the prison of indecision, because all the doors are left open.”