Worried for My Child’s Future

I don’t know if there is any explanation for giving a meaning to the spelling of some dates, but I think that dates with the number 0 in them have a different power. Maybe I’m making such a comment from the meaning of the 0 on my date of birth, maybe it’s a childish thought, I don’t know. Therefore, stepping into dates such as 2000, 2010, 2020 has always excited me. The year 2020 has made a different entry into our lives not only for us but also for people in many parts of the world.

It is obvious that we are going through a process where we say that we are no longer surprised by what I hear when we start the day. Corona virus was something that we were not very foreign to before we came to our country, because it was experienced in other countries, but it is true that we were very shaken after we came to our country, that is, after experiencing it. A period of about three months has now given us enough time to try to live with this virus. We will reframe our lives by paying attention to the rules of hygiene, paying attention to living with masks and social / physical distance for a while. It is precisely in this reframing that cognitive flexibility and emotional balance will be our greatest resources.

cognitive flexibility; It can be described as the ability of the human brain to adapt to any complex and new situation it encounters, to use its problem-solving skills and to be aware of its thoughts. Emphasizing similar points with the words resilience and resilience, this skill is among the most valuable resources we need right now.

The ability to balance emotions is another important resource. If we think about a three-month period in which both our physical health and our psychological resilience go through a major test, our emotions can fluctuate frequently. The emotions we feel most strongly during this period may be fear and anxiety.

When we talk about emotions, we focus on anxiety the most, especially in this process. For some reason anxiety is like a double-edged sword to me. When the anxiety that we need in dangerous situations for our survival exceeds its level, it becomes a health problem in our lives. For example, hypothermia when our body temperature, which should be 36.5-37 Cº on average, falls below 35 Cº; When it rises above 38 Cº, we pass to the limit of hyperthermia. In other words, whatever our values ​​such as body temperature, cholesterol and blood pressure mean for our physical health; It is the balance of our emotions for our psychological health.

Well, how will we proceed with the equation of how many unknowns of this pandemic, where we think about ourselves, our family, our children and our future. What kind of future do we dream of? How will it be possible not to worry about our child’s future?

At this point, understanding Maslow’s hierarchy of needs well can give us a breather. Maslow states that the first basic needs of life are to meet physical needs such as sleep, food, warmth, followed by safety, belonging, value and self-actualization needs. This scheme is like the summary of our lives. The more confident we are in these steps, the more we can move on to the next step. Now, no matter what floor we are on this step, we may be going through a process where we are upside down and go down to the zero point, especially with the Corona. And we may want to continue on our way from where we left off on these steps. But right now it’s important that we focus on our priorities, as we are on the emergency rescue list. Our priority will be our physical needs (material and moral resources) and safety in the first place. We will scan our resources, we will look for ways to pass through these steps once again. I’m not saying it’s easy, but it’s definitely possible. Some of us can move forward with individual support, and we can try to focus our focus on the near-term future, not the long-term future.

While trying to progress in the steps, we can continue to observe our cognitive flexibility and emotions in order to strengthen our psychological resilience. It can be good for us to focus on the happiness, energy and touch we experience at that moment with our children. In the meantime, we can welcome the anxious thoughts that come to our minds and turn to our child again.

From many parents, “we somehow survived, survived; The world is heading towards an increasingly dangerous and insurmountable place. How will or will our children’s school life, university and professional life, and marriage be?” We hear such anxious expressions so intensely. To reiterate, as we move forward with hope and effort, we need to take a breather for situations we cannot control. We can focus on the nearer future. For example, we can think about how we can spend this summer as the normalization processes come into play. Of course, it is very valuable to hope and dream for five or ten years from now, but realize this when negative thoughts come to you as guests. Every guest has an end. If we accept our guest, listen to him for a while and meet his needs, he will leave quietly after a while.

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