Sexuality has been created on women from past to present and has maintained its continuity as a concept that is not appropriate to talk about. The fact that women have a healthy sexual relationship has been marginalized by the society. There are gender rules and sexual myths that affect women’s and sexual health. The acceptance of false teachings about sexuality by women and the lack of correct information have negatively affected women’s sexual health. Sexual health is not just a value judgment between couples. It has been observed that psychological disorders occur in women whose sexual health is adversely affected.
WHAT IS SEXUALITY?
Our anatomical gender is not the first thing that comes to mind when sexuality is mentioned. It is a concept that is biologically nourished by organs and hormones. Gender identity begins to develop in childhood. The main point of sexuality is to get pleasure. Sexuality means more than just men and women. It covers more than one issue such as its physical structure, judgments with itself, choices, and making sense in the environment. Especially in humans, its only purpose is not reproduction and reproduction for the next generation. We have to deal with sexuality in terms of physical, emotional and relationships. The concept of sexuality is affected by both the attitudes and values of the individual and the cultural structure in which he lives. While the individual reflects his sexual identity, the processes before coming to sexuality are triggered in his subconscious. This triggering may prevent the continuation of sexuality in a healthy way. Sexual health is not just about the effects of sexually transmitted diseases on an individual’s life. Because sexuality is a basic instinct that has continued throughout history. Although there are differences in definition and way of living, it has not lost its importance. When there are malfunctions in the concept, which has been so important throughout history, not only the sexual identity of the individual is damaged, but also his family life and perspective towards life are affected. Because, contrary to popular belief, the concept of sexuality is not a situation that occurs only with the union of sexual organs. Sexuality is triggered by the brain. Stimulating regions in the body act as an intermediary for signals to the brain. However, some subconscious pressures experienced in the brain may affect the transmission of these signals. There is a close relationship between the brain and society. Sexuality is a concept that is both the most curious and refrained from being talked about in society. Religious structures have a great influence on sexuality and the subconscious. Sexuality, which the individual does not see as religiously appropriate but performs as a behavior, can trigger many factors such as exclusion by the society and internal conflict within the individual.
CONCEPTS RELATED TO SEXUAL AND SEXUAL HEALTH
Gender: The physiological characteristic that determines a person as male or female.
Gender: Socially and culturally constructed differences between men and women. It is shaped according to the norm values of the society in which the individual lives. It is very likely that we can observe the concept of gender in the thoughts and behaviors of the individual. The concept of gender, imposed by the society, decides instead of the individual at many points, from how the individual should behave to what he should or should not do. It does not allow individuals to go beyond them. However, if individuals decide with their own free will instead of accepting these concepts, they continue to be marginalized by the society and to suffer psychological and physiological violence. Being a woman and a man have different roles according to gender. While reaching these concepts, it is a concept related to how the society sees him, how he perceives him and how he expects him to behave, rather than the gender of the individual. Unlike biological sex, gender is not a static concept. It is a dynamic structure that is shaped according to traditions and customs over time. If we look at the concepts that gender creates within itself, it is possible to see that there is a distinction between male and female gender. Society’s expectations from a man and from a woman are different. While it is considered more business-life and career-oriented for men, a responsibility has been imposed on housework and child care for women.
Gender identity: It is how an individual defines and feels himself/herself within himself/herself.
Sexual orientation: It is the attraction of a person’s sexual feelings, desires and behaviors to a certain gender. When the sexual orientation is to the opposite sex, it is called heterosexual, when it is towards the same sex, it is called homosexual, and when it is towards both sexes, it is called bisexuality. There is no subordinate relationship between sexual orientations. The individual can support healthy identity development, establish harmonious and satisfying relationships, and experience emotional depth within the group to which he or she is directed.
Sexual behaviors: Sexual experience or attitudes that sexual behaviors make in order for an individual to manage their sexuality. Like kissing, touching, smelling
Sexual intercourse: Intimate sexual behavior, including oral, anal, and penile-vaginal sex.
Sexual rights: The right to sexual freedom, sexual autonomy, sexual integrity and bodily safety, the right to sexual privacy, the right to sexual equality, the right to sexual pleasure, the right to emotional expression of sexuality, the right to free and responsible reproductive choices, the right to comprehensive sexuality education, sexual health right to service
WOMEN’S SEXUAL ANATOMY
The genitals of women may differ from each other. It may differ in size, shape and color. In this context, the clitoris, vaginal entrance and hymen may also have different structures.
Vagina: With the onset of sexuality, vaginal wetting occurs around 10-30 seconds. There is no other gland in the vagina for this wetting. The canal width of the vaginas and their response to stimulation also differ.
Clitoris: It is one of the areas where women are most sensitive about sexuality. . Among the human external genitalia, it is the only non-reproductive organ with only sexual function.
Outer lips: It is the layer that appears at first glance, even in the absence of sexual arousal.
Inner lips: It is the point where a slight color change occurs when the skin folds fill with blood with arousal.
Urinary tract: The urinary tract is located just below the clitoris. Except for urine output, it has no relation with sexuality or reproduction.
G-spot (Grafenberg Spot): In the 1950s, Dr. It was defined by Grafenberg. The G spot occurs during the plateau phase, that is, in the phase of increasing sexual arousal.
Uterus: It is the main reproductive organ of women.
Fallopian Tubes: Connects the uterus and ovaries and allows the fertilization of the egg.
Ovaries: The female reproductive organ.
SOCIETY SEXUAL PRESSURE ON WOMEN
Although women gain their equal rights before the law, there are problems in perception by the society. The fact that women are seen as weaker and less valuable than men and traditional approaches that lead to discrimination make it difficult for girls to even access education. The discriminatory approaches towards women cause women to be sexually oppressed as well. Although women have a very normal concept and practiced by everyone, especially in our society, these issues are not talked about. Talking about such sexual issues is shared with either men or women before marriage. However, women who do not receive accurate information until adulthood learn about sexuality as much as they hear from their environment. However, there is a lot of conceptual and cultural misinformation in the sexual information given in the environment. Before the woman meets sexuality, she meets the pressure and fear that sexuality creates on her. He does not take any action to correct the misinformation because it is imposed on him by his environment as if it were true. While male sexuality is known in Turkish society, it is not possible to talk about female sexuality. While the dense population in the society belongs to the same religion, the concept of men and women is separated by making a discrimination here. While premarital sexual intercourse is more suitable for the concept of men, it is described as unacceptable for the concept of women. As such, sexual intercourse before marriage causes a pressure on women. This pressure makes them unhappy and they lose the energy they need to expend to reach the right information. Gender roles play a very important role in the formation of this pressure. The fact that a woman experiences her sexuality as a requirement of society is transferred to her family as if she has committed a crime. Women and women’s sexuality is described as honor on a man. The right to sexual freedom, which is one of the most natural rights of women, is taken away from the woman by giving her husband or the man of the house. Many women cannot have a healthy sexual experience due to the pressure they experience. There are places where it is considered a crime for women to enjoy sexual intercourse and even reflect it to the other party. As a society, taking sexual pleasure in the hands of women provides support to the masculine structure. Rather than attaining her own satisfaction, the woman allows a man to be satisfied. At this point, by throwing herself into the background, she reveals the points that will cause important and deep traces in her mental health.
SEXUAL MYTHS ON WOMEN
What does sexual myth mean?
They are false beliefs about sexuality that are not true, do not reflect the truth, but have spread from ear to ear and have survived to the present day and are accepted as true by the general public. These false beliefs, namely sexual myths, can be the source of many people’s sexual problems.
The importance of sexual myths created for women in terms of women’s sexual health:
Sexual myths are an extremely influential concept on women. While it affects women’s approach to sexual life, it also affects healthy sexual life. There are many sexual myths formed on women and accepted by a large part of society. When women do not live in accordance with the sexual myths expected of them, the pressure on women affects them spiritually. It has effects not only sexually but also on their daily lives. Women who do not conform to stereotypes and myths are exposed to psychological and physiological violence by the society and try to be silent and make sense of the situations they are in. However, since the general validity of sexual myths is very high, they remain silent even in distinguishing whether the concept attributed to them is myth or reality. Sexual myths are one of the points where gender difference can be observed very intensely in terms of society. With examples, we can know a little more about this situation.
Examples of sexual myths on women
The male should indicate his desire for sexual intercourse. This situation causes a pressure on women who want to be sexually active.
Men always want sexual intercourse and are always ready for it. This situation causes a woman to blame herself when her man is not suitable for her and to think that the woman is pushing her male partner away for individual reasons.
All physical intimacy should end in lovemaking. This situation causes sexual intercourse to become a necessity on individuals. The positive effects of the sensations from me on individuals are ignored and only the union of the penis and vagina becomes the main point. It has a purpose for individuals. However, the union of the penis and vagina is a means, not an end.
A woman who expresses her desire for sexual intercourse is a light person. This situation not only affects the sexual life of women, but also creates a prejudice for women on men.
Achieving success in sexuality, as in other things, is extremely important. Sexuality is not a concept of success. It must constitute a pleasure for individuals. A process that is completed with ambition slows down the pleasure that should be taken from sexual intercourse because the perceptions are very clear.
Menopause eliminates sexual desire. In fact, menopause is a concept that affects reproduction, not sexuality. The woman’s entry into the menopause period does not come for the sake of ending her sexual life.
Women’s sexual desire is low: Sex is not pleasurable for women, it is done as a duty. It is one of the most common false beliefs placed on girls in our culture. A woman raised in this way is ashamed of her own sexuality and inhibits herself during sexual intercourse.
Men should initiate and maintain sexual intercourse: It is a social myth that women are passive in sexual intercourse and are expected to be passive. A woman or a man can initiate sexual intercourse. In this kind of rapprochement, it doesn’t matter which gender takes the first step.
The woman who initiates lovemaking is immoral. There is no scientific difference between such generalized beliefs. Men and women are free to initiate lovemaking. The fact that an individual initiates love does not mean that he has negative value judgments about his identity.
Mature women should have orgasm incorporating. Not every woman has to have an orgasm in every sexual experience. Mobility during the day, stress factors affecting that day or life experiences can affect the current orgasm level of women. However, a woman who does not have an orgasm is not a situation that causes her to feel deficient. It should be evaluated by taking into consideration the instant conditions and attitudes of the individual.
The first sexual intercourse is very painful for the woman. It can be dangerous for the woman. The first experiences of individuals are also related to their approach to sexuality. Not every woman has to have a difficult and pathetic first experience. A man’s approach towards his wife and his wife’s attitude towards sexuality is a very important concept for the first intercourse.
If the blood does not come in the first sexual intercourse, the woman is not a virgin. The hymen is a thin membrane with a hole in the middle. It has fine capillaries on it. In the first sexual intercourse, it stretches and expands according to the anatomical structure or bleeds as a result of cracking of thin capillaries. The hymen that women have can have different structures. It is ignorant to expect the same event from every woman and the social pressure on her when the same vote does not take place.
The hymen can be damaged by friction. The hymen is located inside the woman’s vagina. Friction is a concept that occurs without the union of the vagina and penis. It is impossible to reach the hymen when the union does not occur.
Before getting married, one should be very careful not to spoil the hymen: There are many false beliefs that seem to have been developed in order to establish the sanctity of the hymen and the need to protect it at all times.
Hymen breaks with masturbation
It is possible to get pregnant through close encounters such as kissing and touching.
The intense and correct acceptance of such sexual myths in our society causes it to trigger more than one psychological disorder.
PSYCHOLOGICAL DISORDERS OF SEXUAL CONTENT IN WOMEN
Vaginismus: Vaginismus is a sexual intercourse problem that describes the inability to have sexual intercourse or being very painful as a result of involuntary contractions of the vaginal muscles. In addition to being the channel where sexual intercourse takes place, the vagina is also the channel through which the birth canal, menstrual canal and urinary canal pass in women. The vagina is flexible and elongated. However, in women experiencing vaginismus, the involuntary contractions in the muscles here cause severe pain on the woman and the woman feels pain instead of enjoying sexual intercourse. This pain is psychological pain. For most women, this pain is quite difficult to bear. The occurrence of this problem is more psychological. First of all, women who are exposed to this situation should be checked by an obstetrician. However, as observed in many studies, the underlying causes of this condition are psychological, not physiological. The number of women experiencing vaginismus is very high because women and female sexuality are very suppressed in our country. However, the fact that we are in a developing country in terms of sexual health has created difficulties even for women to make sense of the situation they are experiencing. Faced with such a first experience, the woman develops a belief that this situation is quite normal. Because the first night experience myths told and supported in the society are very common. The first sexual experience matches many inappropriate patterns such as blood, pain, inactivity in individuals. This is not a normal situation. Problems must be addressed. Accurate sexual information is very necessary for a healthy sexual union and to be able to get out of such a situation with health. Vaginismus treatments are mostly performed by psychologists. The processes that have affected the subconscious of the individual can be restructured and a healthy sexual experience can be achieved. In this problem, which is overcome by sexual therapy, women are usually included in a process with their spouses. Because working with a focus on women only supports the feeling that there are deficiencies on women and that the problem is in her. However, the support of sexual myths and the approach of the man to the woman are also very important in couples who are met with such an attitude. Waiting for the sexuality, which is wanted to be ignored for a long time by the society, to emerge overnight, and before the woman is ready, the spouse, who supports the approach to her according to their own attitudes and value judgments, may act worrisome on the woman. The attitude of men and women towards sexuality is important in this regard, as well as in appropriate conditions and times. The fact that the woman does not feel safe and that the situations and conditions are not suitable for sexual intercourse can be the triggers of vaginismus.
What do vaginismus patients experience during sexual intercourse?
While everything is going well in couples who love each other happily and maybe have no problems other than sexuality, and they even have extremely beautiful and pleasant lovemaking, a “panic attack-like situation” develops in the reunion dimension of the relationship. The woman suddenly stiffens, closes her legs, pushes her partner, and pulls herself back. It decreases in the wetting of the vagina and turns into dryness. This panic situation that occurs in vaginismus is due to false information and prejudices in the subconscious. It’s like a hand pressed a button in the brain and locked the system. Individuals who experience this situation do not have a complete union. It does not mean that a woman with vaginismus does not love her spouse or does not want to have a relationship with him.
Dyspareunia: Dyspareunia, known as painful sexual intercourse, is the feeling of unpleasant, involuntary conditions such as pain, pain, burning, stinging at the entrance of the vagina or deeper in the groin area when the moment of intercourse comes. Dyspareunia is the secret problem of most women. Women who do not want to reflect this problem to their spouses continue to complete this process within themselves. Painful sexual intercourse supported by sexual myths is accepted by women. It is very difficult for a woman to share her sexual pain with her husband. It is accepted by the man to make him think that he is not wanted or to fulfill a duty of sexuality for his wife. Painful sexual intercourse can be caused by many main factors such as the structure of the hymen, the woman’s not being ready enough, and irritation. Sexual pain can be experienced at the entrance of the vagina, or it can be a concept that affects the woman in the inner parts of the vagina.
The concepts created in sexuality for women need to be re-informed in a healthy way. In terms of women’s health, the stereotypes of the society should be examined and the necessary points should be emphasized. Because women and women’s health is a whole. In this context, women and female sexuality should also be healthy. The psychological well-being of women should not be based on the concepts that society imposes on her. The places of the most curious but least talked about concepts in our country, such as sexuality, should be changed. Because there is no concept of what should be in sexuality. Each couple builds this concept among themselves. Each individual’s attitude towards sexuality may be different. Generalizing the results from different experiences is only supporting the problems experienced. Accurate sexual information is essential for a healthy sexual life. In order to break the effects of gender stereotypes, education should be given at a young age and issues that are not talked about should be discussed. Women and women’s health is a whole. The woman should be made to feel healthier by working on both myths and negative thoughts that trigger her health and cause her pain.