Getting approval from our birth and acceptance of our existence is one of our basic requirements for a happy and healthy life. As we grow up, we learn to be validated in various ways, for example, we think that when we say “yes” to others, they like us more, but when we disagree with others, that is, say “no”, it will cause us to be excluded.
How to Say “No”
Answering no is an unpleasant situation for many of us. For this, we should pay attention to the harmony of our body language and tone of voice with what we say, so that the “no” does not hurt the other person.
Psychology Today gives the following suggestions for one to say “No” more easily:
1. Always “yes.” or “it happens.” the requests you answered, “I’ll think about it.” Reply. This not only gives you a window to think about the other person’s request and make a more conscious decision, but also allows the other person to think about and review their request.
2. A clear “no.” instead, “I’m not going to feel comfortable with that.” “Not my choice.” a softer “no.” you can say. Of course, in some cases, especially if the other person is pushing your limits, a clear “no.” you have to say.
3. Think before you say your “no”, are you angry with the other person? Are you angry? Are you upset that he doesn’t see your needs? Being aware of your current feelings may be an opportunity to share why you said “no” to the other person.
4. Before saying “no” to the other person, think about why you are saying “no” and if you are saying “yes” why are you saying “yes”. Do not respond immediately without thinking. But don’t be afraid to say a clear “no” to people who attack your thinking processes.
Why Should We Say “No”?
When we do not have enough time and opportunity, when we are faced with demands that do not match our feelings and thoughts, we should be able to say “no” in situations that conflict with our personal wishes. Otherwise, first of all, we lose our self-respect and exploit ourselves by allowing someone else to use us. Saying no should not necessarily mean hurting or upsetting the other person, if a person who is rejected in an appropriate and loving manner does not play with his ego and cares about the feeling of respect, there will be no problem. After all, the only way not to do things we don’t want to do is to say no.