Cheating is one of the most common and most damaging situations in today’s relationships.
is coming. Although the common view is that men cheat more, in fact, women
He cheats as much as men.
Although what we know about human psychology is still limited, and it affects human behavior.
Although there are multiple reasons, some psychological explanations for cheating
THE EVOLUTIONARY REASON FOR DECEPTION
According to evolutionist psychologists; a woman’s lifetime, starting from the 9-month gestation period.
Considering that the chance of getting pregnant and having a child is at most 20, and biologically 20
Considering that having a child is a near-impossible possibility, a woman can
Choosing from among the strongest and most suitable men to care for children and women
remains in the state. In other words, women have a responsibility to act selectively. In the animal world too
This is how the situation usually works. The female animal fights with the male who wins the fight between the male animals.
together, so he chooses the strongest.
The situation is different for males. A man can be with more than one woman in a day and
In a relationship, he has the chance to get a woman pregnant, but on the other hand, the man
He does not know exactly that the child is his own, the child to be born will always be from another man.
is likely to happen. Increasing the probability of a child being born from the male’s own sperm
By scattering his sperm to as many women as possible, he increases the probability of having a child by himself.
Apart from this bio-evolutionary explanation, there are other explanations for the cause of deception.
The most frequently cited reason by cheaters is the problems in their relationship. Having communication problems
couples begin to fight over time and to experience long-term resentments. In this process
people spend more time on work or the outside world and are increasingly distant from each other.
While the person who is confused with the partner he is with, sometimes consciously turns to someone else,
sometimes it gets closer to someone who is already around and this brings cheating.
2- BE BORED
Couples often spend a lot of energy in the dating phase of the relationship, trying to get the other person.
puts a lot of effort into it. People who cannot add a new excitement to the relationship, to another partner.
may want to enjoy the innovations and differences that the new person adds to his life. Famous
As psychotherapist Yalom puts it, “Behind every beautiful woman is bored with making love to a beautiful woman.”
there is a man” or vice versa
3- REQUEST TO PUNISH THE WIFE
In the problems experienced in bilateral relations, sometimes one of the parties will hurt or disturb the other.
may behave. In response, the other spouse feels intense anger towards his partner and
He can cheat on his wife in order to punish him. The things that make a person angry are different in every relationship. A
While the spouse may cheat because he does not receive enough attention, when someone else is cheated on, he can cheat on his spouse to take revenge.
4-SOME SPECIAL PERIODS
In some periods of life, rates of cheating increase. For example, midlife crisis.
In the age period of 40-50, which we call, people review their lives. What one wants in life
If he finds that he cannot do most of it, he will try to make changes in his life and make it better than he has ever experienced.
may try to live a different life. Menopause and anthroposis problems in midlife crisis
It can increase the severity of the depression experienced and during this period, the person can cheat on his partner.
5-THE RISKS OF PREGNANCY
Another important period is when the woman is pregnant or the baby is born. woman’s man
frequent refusal to have sex or the man’s not finding his partner sexually attractive during this period
or if his wife sanctifies her now that she is a mother, the man may turn to another partner.
6- INDIVIDUAL PROBLEMS
Cheating isn’t always caused by problems in the relationship. Sometimes the relationship goes on perfectly
A person can cheat on the person they are with. Underneath this, the person generally has close relationships and attachment.
There are unconscious fears and anxieties about it. The person is financially sufficient for the relationship he/she lives,
does not invest emotionally, socially, and therefore do not give up and lose the person he is with.
can take the risk.
The best example of this is the leading actor in the movie “The Heatless Man”. These people cannot establish close emotional relationships,
When they encounter an attempt in this direction, they walk away. Because these people’s ability to face emotions
abilities are weak.
7- PROBLEMS RELATED TO SEXUALITY
Dissatisfaction in sexual life can lead both men and women to another partner. your sexual life
The quality of sexual intercourse is as important as the frequency. A sex life in everyone’s fantasy world
If the person does not have the dream sex life with their partner, they can do it with another partner.
8- MEDIA, SOCIAL MEDIA, CONSUMPTION AGE
Through social media such as dating sites, people can meet many new people while sitting at home.
has become. There may be a rapprochement between these people who spend a long time on the computer, and this
It can also lead to cheating.
While it used to be very difficult to find even a pin, now people can reach everything very easily and
became possible. As such, things that are easily obtained have become easily dispensed with.
While people used to think that if my relationship ended, it would be difficult for me to find a new one, many people now
He became more courageous, thinking it was easy to meet new people. This too
turned into a factor that facilitates deception.
9- EARLY MARRIAGE AND BEING IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE
Studies have shown that women who marry before the age of 22 are more likely to be married before the age of 24.
It shows that he divorced quickly. People look at life differently as they get older.
starts. In early marriages, people get married with the feeling of excitement, but
As they get older, their expectations and likes from a relationship or life change. relationship they have
They may fall in love with another person because they do not satisfy the person.
10- SOME TIPS OF SCAMING
Any person who meets the characteristics described above, or meets some of the following conditions, cheats, or
It is never possible to say for sure that people who do not comply with the definitions do not cheat. But cheating
Here are some common points that are frequently seen in the situations.
Having unfamiliar numbers on your phone often.
On credit card statements, accounts for restaurants, etc., shopping bills that he does not normally go to.
He’s been paying more attention to his clothes lately than before.
Frequently arriving late for work-related reasons.
Frequent business trips.
Spending most of his free time, such as the weekend, with friends apart from you.
Keeping away from sexual sharing with you, not acting as close as before.
It uses e-mail, phone, etc. tools secretly and turns it off immediately when you arrive.
Complains that you are causing trouble frequently or that you are being told.