Who’s the Problem?

“But it wasn’t like this at first, it happened later” “I thought it would get better with time”

Which of these sounds familiar to you? Let’s talk a little bit about the complex relationships that we have heard most often lately, which start well and end with disappointment… You think that you need to show your color in the continuation of the flirting/relationship that started with excitement, and when you show your desire to be close by sharing everything with him, which is actually all you want, your partner suddenly starts to break away from the relationship by saying “I’m not ready”. starting. Then come the endless questions

“Why did this happen”, “Is there someone else”, “Was everything he said a lie” and calling/texting many times right after these thoughts, going to the places he went to hoping to meet him or vice versa pretending to ignore… this and so on If there are behaviors to reconnect with your partner, of which we can give countless examples, now calmly stop thinking about where you went wrong because this is not your fault and every action you make is actually a “reactive behavior”. Also, stop getting angry and cursing at your partner because it’s not their fault either. Here it is all about ATTACHMENT STYLES. Attachment begins with our parents in infancy and lays the foundation for the relationships we will experience in adulthood. Each of us has one of the four known attachment styles, but the real problem begins when we enter a path without knowing our own and our partner’s attachment style. So how do we get out of this vicious circle? The first job is to learn our own attachment style, and believe me, you don’t need to be an expert for this. There are many articles, books, scales and tests that will raise awareness on this subject. The important thing is a little curiosity. However, the way to find a relationship that meets your needs is to first know exactly what we expect from a relationship (intimacy, intimacy, trust, etc.) and to realize that these are our rights. The point we will focus on here is not whether the other person loves us, but whether that person is worth our emotional investment and moreover, whether he can give us what we need in the relationship. Believe me, once you start questioning them, you will notice a lot in yourself and in your relationships.

Remember! It is not a matter of “Men are always after the same thing” or “It is very difficult to understand women”, the secret is knowing what the person is looking for in himself and in the other person.

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