When the School Knocked on the Door

The day that our children have been eagerly waiting for, when they will step into a kind of independence and wide circle of friends, has come to our door. Especially if there are elders in his family who are in the education life, he waits for the children’s school with more longing, but the first day he steps into this big dream may not be what he expected. So what turns the excitement of starting school into stress?

Starting our child’s education life; It means entering into a new society full of peers and older children from the small society that he has been in until now, where he knows all of his members, and is treated with love and tolerance by all its members, for the first time in his life adventure until now, without absolute protectors (self-care givers). income. Parents who gave unlimited love to themselves and their siblings, if any, were left at home, they were left with the responsibility of meeting their own self-care, and a sweet responsibility of success was placed on them by their trainers. A child who is suddenly left in this defenseless and helpless environment will naturally experience fear, especially if there are other crying children around him! Well, what can we do to overcome this stress?

First, we can go to our school (or kindergarten) to browse together. In this way, the world he is in will not be a complete stranger, and the ground will be prepared for the dreams he will build through that place.

In my opinion, the second step should be to destroy the sweet dreams of our first grader a little bit. The responsibilities of school life should be explained without intimidation, it should be explained that school life is not just about playing with friends. It is worth repeating that while doing this, constructive rather than destructive examples should be given and responsibilities should be encouraged. In addition to explaining how wonderful it is to learn to read and write, you should also explain that you need to work for it and sometimes even have to do a little boring things, but you can overcome them together. The result I hope from this step is less stressful homework hours and a student with increased positive resistance because they know what to expect.

The third step, I think, will be more difficult for our parents than for our children. Separation ritual… At the school or classroom door (which is better not to enter until the classroom door), we should sweetly tell our student that we are going to go even if he is crying and even clinging to our legs, we should express that we understand him and we will miss him very much until he returns. In such situations, unfortunately, our children can use the weapon of emotional exploitation, especially when we are in an emotional situation… Therefore, we must make our determination feel and put on a brave expression even if it is difficult. A special greeting can be added to these separations. For example, we can kiss our child not twice but 4 times at each separation time, or we can kiss their forehead and cheeks, when this separation greeting is reinforced with a loving and longing after-school greeting, it will be a sign that you will return every time of separation. Another whining topic I will hear about separation is “So-and-so’s mother came to school, why didn’t you come?” and they can strike us at our weak spot, out of apathy. In this case, it can be said that the school belongs to the children, that the parents act wrongly, that he is a strong enough individual to overcome the whole school (here he is even stronger than the superhero he loves to feed his imagination).

Our fourth step, which will be needed not only when starting school, but throughout life; unconditional positive acceptance. It is not possible to briefly talk about unconditional positive acceptance here, but to explain; We can say that the love we offer to the individual in front of us is not dependent on conditions such as success, but the mistakes made are resolved by methods other than applying a love embargo.

Finally, the fifth step we will say is directly aimed at us, the parents. For some of us, school is as much a source of anxiety for us as our children. Our child, who feels this situation, begins to experience the same uneasiness or to use his emotional weapons more accurately against us. Some of our parents are trying to make their child’s environment as sterile as their home, in other words, they are trying to make their presence felt even if they are separated. This situation has serious damages both for the efficiency of the educator and for our child. Our child will learn to establish relationships with other individuals and make friends more easily at school, He will learn to follow social and social rules and to comply with them, his self-confidence and communication skills will increase, he will learn to settle his personality and make friends suitable for his own personality, In short, he will reach mental, physical, psychological and social maturity and more importantly, they will do all this while having fun in the company of their peers and teachers who love them unconditionally.

We have shared with you some local solutions for a local problem that may occur above. We are just at the gate of education and there is a whole sixteen years ahead of us. Of course, we will experience other problems and problems and I hope we can overcome them without difficulty and trouble.

Finally, let’s not forget that today is the first day your child steps into school, the first day he/she becomes an individual and mingles with the society, he/she is now a member of the society who can maintain himself/herself, and his/her self-confidence will increase as his education continues. Remember that he is an individual, respect his decisions and choices (as long as he does not pose a serious threat to them) and try to provide opportunities for them to realize their dreams. After 16 years of all this, sit back and look at your self-confident and open-minded child who has achieved LIFE success and smile with joy.

stay well

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