What Should You Do If You Have a Lover with Borderline Personality Disorder?

When people with borderline personality disorder love, they tend to idealize their partners and friends and form obsessive relationships.

When they disappoint their loved ones, it pushes borderline sufferers to opposite points. Fear of abandonment leads to anxiety, anger, and paranoia. Close friendships, romance and family ties are among the things borderline patients want most. But maintaining intimacy is a tremendous challenge, because the disease contains a stark paradox.

These individuals do their best for intimacy, but their insecurities tend to keep them away from their loved ones. This is why the process between demands for love or attention and sudden withdrawal or isolation is a constant back and forth.

MAINTAINING THE RELATIONSHIP

Many borderline relationships go through a honeymoon period. These patients place their partner on a pedestal at the beginning of a new romantic relationship and think they have found their soul mate, the person who will save them from emotional pain. This is a kind of idealizing thought.

The honeymoon period can also be extremely exciting for the other person. Because for someone to display such strong emotions exactly satisfies the desired need. But problems begin to appear when the truth comes out.

THE PROBLEMS BEGIN WHEN THEY SEE THEY ARE NOT PERFECT

When borderline sufferers begin to see that their partners are not perfect, their idealized image of a soul mate begins to crumble. Because borderline patients struggle with binary thinking and only see things in black and white, they may have difficulty realizing that they are making mistakes even when most people express it.

MANAGING THE RELATIONSHIP

The key to maintaining and managing a relationship with someone with borderline personality disorder is to find ways to deal with these cycles and to encourage the borderline patient to seek professional help to reduce these cycles.

MAY NEED COUPLE THERAPY

Borderline patients have problems with healthy thinking when they begin to be dominated by their emotions. For this reason, they usually need professional help to manage the relationship. In such cases, couples therapy in general is necessary for the relationship.

In addition, additional therapies such as dialectical behavior therapy and mentalization therapy help reduce the severity of borderline loops.

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