Vaginismus is the painful, painful or impossible sexual intercourse by involuntary and repetitive contraction of the muscles at the entrance of the vagina, which occurs with the stress of attempts to enter the vagina, does not allow sexual intercourse.
state of being perceived. This difficulty in allowing the entrance of the vagina despite the fact that the person verbally states that he wants to do it; It also occurs during imagining an object or penis entering the vagina, as well as attempting with a penis, finger, tampon, speculum and-or anything else. In vaginismus, there is classically no penile entry into the vagina. A common burning sensation occurs in the genital area and especially in the vagina. In vaginismus, there is a state of contraction, anxiety, fear, disgust and panic in the whole body, especially in the vagina. And vaginismus often suggests that the female partner’s vagina is too narrow or the hymen is too thick in couples.
Vaginismus can basically be explained by the existence of the following vicious circle; The person receives the signal from the unconscious with the fear of “what if it hurts” and as a defense mechanism to prevent sexual intercourse, he involuntarily contracts himself without control, the entrance to the vagina, which consists of 2 cm smooth muscles, narrows due to the contractions according to this wrong perception of the person. , hardens and makes intercourse impossible, when the entrance becomes hard and narrow, the attempt to insert any object into the vagina is also perceived as a painful process, there may be contractions in other muscle groups accompanying this, and the person may even feel out of breath, in this case, opening his legs without sexual intercourse She closes herself tightly enough to prevent it and pushes her partner with her hands, when the intervention in the vaginal area ends, the muscles relax and return to normal. This is the desire to have sexual intercourse – to create the appropriate environment with the partner to try – the fear that it will hurt again, I will not be able to stand it – involuntary contraction of the vaginal muscles as a defense mechanism in line with this fear – the hardening and narrowing of the vaginal entrance of these contractions – the impossibility of penile entry into the vagina – pushing the partner and sexual intercourse. The end of the attempt to have intercourse again – we call the vicious cycle of relaxation and relaxation of the vaginal muscles with this termination (with the unconscious relaxation of the danger passed command) vaginismus.
Most women with vaginismus tend to think that their vaginas are narrow and that their hymen is thick or even nonexistent. However, these are completely myths. Vagina is a structure that can relax and stretch by nature, it can take a natural shape according to the size of the penis. In other words, vaginismus is not caused by a genital abnormality.
CAUSES OF VAGINISMUS
There may be many reasons for vaginismus. It is almost impossible to attribute it to a single cause. However, under main headings, the causes of vaginismus can be listed as categories.
1. Fears of Expectation
Before each sexual intercourse attempt, the person always has an expectation anxiety such as “it will hurt, we will not be able to do it again, I will not be able to endure, I will not succeed”. These thoughts have now become automatic in cognitions, and as a result of these, “self-fulfilling prophecy” comes into play, and the person continues to have a vaginismus nightmare during sexual intercourse.
2. Lack of Knowledge and Insufficient Experience
Especially in our society, let alone imagining sexuality, talking about sexuality, thinking about it, asking questions about sexuality, learning and researching are stuck on the “shame, forbidden, sin” triad. People usually learn everything from the first contact and the first sexual intercourse. Lack of experience shows itself in this regard.
3. Sexual Myths-Normal-Superstitions
The learned nature of sexuality is heavily influenced by sexual myths, social norms, and superstitions. So that; It is even possible to say that sexual disorders are pre-programmed. Many of them appear as learned behaviors. Exaggerated news and articles in the media (heavy first night stories, stories of the penis that stays hard during the night, stories of pain caused by a large penis, etc.) can cause the perception of “what if it happens to me”, which is engraved in people’s minds as fear, over time.
Prohibitions and taboos vaccinated by family and society can also cause vaginismus. Constantly witnessing stories like “oh I had a hard time the first night, my bleeding didn’t stop for a week, I hope my daughter’s is not as tight as mine” It is not at all surprising that a woman who is humiliated for discovering it, who is intimidated by God’s will, who is subjected to violence, who is made to believe that “the female body is a treasure that should be hidden”, and who takes reference from the family and society on many other issues, experiences vaginismus.
4. Personal Fears and Problems
Perspective on sexuality, fear of sexual intercourse, negative self-perception, negative body image, past problematic sexual encounters, traumatic sexual history such as sexual harassment or rape…
5. Peer-to-Peer Issues
In particular, those who do not recognize each other’s body language, both physical and spiritual expectations, have limited verbal or emotional relations between them, whose marriage or union is no longer a dance for two, but shaped by the interventions of relatives, sexuality is considered a duty towards men, or simply the obligation to meet the erotic expectations of the man. The rate of experiencing vaginismus is higher in people who have seen it.
6. Other Reasons
• Past experience of sexual harassment
• Fear of pregnancy
• Fear of pain
• High anxiety
• Inadequate sexual education
• Extreme religious teachings
• Exposure to shocking sexual images in childhood
• Domestic violence
• Fear of attachment
• Having an abusive partner
• Weak, powerless mother
• Repressive, authoritarian father
• Difficulties in the father-daughter relationship
• Disgust or dislike of sexual organs
• Involuntary forced marriage, dislike of spouse, incompatibility with spouse and communication problems
• Negative religious and moral conditioning
• Fear of failure or performance anxiety
• Fear of losing the hymen
Among the most frequently asked questions is “Can vaginismus be treated?” Many women have lost their belief that this problem, which has become a nightmare, can be solved. This problem seriously disrupted the relationship with the spouse or partner, family integrity, emotional state, self-esteem and self-compassion, and made the person hopeless.
Good news; Vaginismus treatment is definitely a possible problem. Many vaginismus cases have been treated with many proven techniques and an active study with the client. Most of the time, the treatment, which is carried out with the participation of the spouse or partner, can also be arranged individually. Many clients after vaginismus treatment; He gave feedback as “I did not believe it would happen, it would get better. My hope that one day I could also have a relationship without pain, with pleasure and with pleasure was completely gone, but it could happen”.
NOTE: Vaginismus is NOT an embarrassing, incurable, incurable, organic disease! It can definitely be treated and it can be ensured that the person continues his life in a healthy way. As in thousands of vaginismus cases to date, a painless, painless, fearless, pleasurable and satisfying sexual intercourse is also possible for you.