What is Selfishness?

Selfishness is caring only for one’s own needs and thoughts without caring about the thoughts and needs of the other person. Selfishness should not be confused with self-reflection. Self-reflection is a healthy behavior, but self-reflection is selfish if it is carried out by ignoring the needs of others.


Selfishness may be a learned behavior in our childhood. Children learn by watching and imitating. Selfish behavior is learned from the person we took as a role model as a child. That’s why our childhood memories are so important. According to cognitive psychology; it could be caused by i schematics. It is about how a person defines himself and how he sees himself.


Selfish people place their own needs above the needs of the other person. They have difficulty in adapting to issues that require cooperation and have difficulty accepting criticism. So how do we deal with selfish people? To begin with, we must first know ourselves very well. We must recognize our own thoughts and schemas so that we can cope. We can set boundaries with selfish people to deal with them. If you’re having trouble setting these boundaries, it’s time to look at our own charts. Some people have “sacrifice, understatement” schemes. These schemas are “Why do we have it? or “How can I change these schemas?” If we ask ourselves these questions, we become more empowered to deal with selfish people.

Selfish people can blame you and have outbursts of anger when they have no thoughts or wishes of their own. In such cases, you should not hesitate to express your own ideas. If you do not explain yourself by constantly taking it from the bottom, the person in front of you will think that what he is doing is right, and he will continue this behavior.

Selfish people can come at you when they don’t want to. You should not use the language he uses to deal with selfish people who are provoking. You should always be yourself and move away from the person whose provocation you are uncomfortable with.

You may find that selfish people don’t listen to you when they’re chatting. They just want to continue their own issues. In this case, you can change the direction of the conversation by opening more general topics.

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