What is Manipulation?

Although this word, which means to direct, influence and change, is not used frequently in daily life, it is a situation we frequently encounter.

Hidden threats may be types that are easier to understand, such as implicit warnings. They are easier to spot. However, there is a high probability that you are being manipulated in most of the decisions you make not to upset the other party or the sacrifices you make to avoid losing them.

Although this situation manifests itself with very small moves at first, its sphere of influence can grow over time, causing you to act under the influence of others in vital decisions. In moments when we sacrifice ourselves so that someone we care about does not get offended or offended by us, or when our relatives, who openly express their expectations from us, make us feel as if we have to meet that expectation, we actually make important decisions on our behalf in conditions where others affect us rather than our own thoughts and feelings.

So why do we allow this?

Being able to make our own decisions independently of external factors is an important skill. In particular, the development of our self-esteem and confidence has an important place in this regard. Self-confidence and self-esteem are a phenomenon learned from childhood. In other words, how do our family (caregivers) and then our friends and teachers treat us, to learn how to evaluate ourselves positively, and with the support of our social environment in this regard, who am I? How am I? And what can I do? His questions take shape gradually. If the aforementioned social environment did not provide enough space for us to discover our own skills, criticized, did not appreciate what we did, did not allow us to adopt a path other than their own, and excluded us when we did this, they would have damaged our perception of “I can do”. So we begin to do what others see well, to seek the approval of others, and to distrust our own opinions.

This situation is unconsciously reinforced throughout life and our life becomes open to interference from others. It is the first step to be able to recognize this intervention and then create our own space. But in order to realize all this, we must first learn to love, respect and trust ourselves in our own potential. The question to be asked while doing this is; What are the obstacles/obstacles preventing me from loving myself and trusting myself? What were they?

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