What Do We Sacrifice By Sacrificing?

Sacrifice; A self-sacrificing person is defined as self-sacrificing, not afraid of self-sacrifice. The feeling of sacrifice is one of the well-known mistakes of the relationship. Because the sense of self-sacrifice has become a tool that makes the story even more special within the definition of ‘love’. The knowledge or feeling that an unselfish relationship isn’t good enough or special is an idea/feeling shared by all of us. However, are you aware that this emotion is a strong and negative emotion that can bring the end of a relationship?

‘Self-compromise’ is the most common and most negative teaching in relationships. This feeling throws irresolvable nicks into the dead end of the relationship. The sacrificing relationship expects the behavior to be rewarded or rewarded in the same way, either consciously or unconsciously on both sides. When the expectation is not met, the feeling of disappointment dominates the relationship.

We expect our partner to compromise himself in return for what we deduct from ourselves. The sense of sacrifice upsets the balance in the process of getting to know each other, leaving one party in debt in the exchange of emotions. Partners opposite the self-sacrifice in relationships have a chance of two thought patterns:

Being indifferent to the sacrifice (I didn’t ask you for such a thing): We often hear this sentence from one of the partners, because the time has passed when they will understand that any sacrifice behavior is done without demand and these behaviors have started to shake the balance of the relationship. The partner, who makes a self-sacrifice behavior, starts to criticize and asks for account for the fact that he no longer receives a response. He thinks that his partner does not understand the value and meaning of his own actions/sacrifices. In fact, the reaction he could not get against the sacrifice makes him think that the relationship has gone to an unproductive point, and as a result of this feeling, he feels wronged and ignored. The partner who remains indifferent may be in pursuit of his rightness,

Experiencing guilt against sacrifice (adjusting behavior control according to the size of the sacrifice): The partner opposite the sacrificing partner feels inadequate to reciprocate the behaviors done, and as a result, guilt often goes into a period in which all feelings are covered. He draws the boundaries of all his feelings with the guilt he feels for the sacrifices of the partner. In fact, this feeling of guilt mixed with emotions pushes all emotions into the background and prevents the partners from talking about the problems transparently.

In both cases, a curtain is drawn between the couples and the partners can no longer be transparent with each other. This means that the sine qua non of a relationship is to make concessions or to create a love story with self-sacrifice; It consists of repeating the biggest mistake of a relationship without realizing it.

The solution to all of these is to reveal yourself in the most transparent way in the processes of getting to know and understood by each other, and to create a chance to be transparent to the partner in front of you. In the relations where transparent communication is established, the sub-texts of the behaviors are obvious, and no partner has an indirect purpose, and every behavior and gesture reaches the other party with the right message.

Come, let’s find out what the sacrifices in our relationship actually serve, and let’s embrace by drawing the curtains between us…

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