In childhood, a boy is identified with his father, and a girl with her mother. As a result, sexual identity decomposes and develops.
Starting from the first months, parents take care to behave in accordance with the gender of the baby. Flowers are attached to the girl’s hair and she is dressed in colorful ornate clothes. The toy choices of boys and girls differ. girl child” my pretty, sweet girl”while being loved, the boy ” my lion son” he is praised. Mothers to their sons ” You are the man of the house when your father is away, you will protect me”I say to the girls ” you are my best helper‘ they say.
In some families, these identification models appear to be taken further; Little boys are not even allowed to play with the doll. The stereotypical image of masculinity in such families; the athlete draws a strong, quiet, aesthetically unconcerned portrait. Even though they make an effort to conform to this drawn portrait, children who are not successful may experience significant mental problems. It is labeled as feminine behavior for a boy to have an inclination towards the arts – playing the piano, ballet, etc. – or for the boy to cook with pleasure, to sew his own button, and is mocked for being girlish.
Feminine behavior is when a man picks up on other sex-specific behaviors and resembles the other sex in his speech and actions.
The boy’s gaining a healthy sexual identity; It is associated with having an adequate sample of one or more men in front of him. The first and most important example is undoubtedly the father. It is necessary to be a father who has a close and positive relationship with his son.
In case the father behaves in a disinterested and distant relationship, works away from home, is a person who appears and disappears; The growing boy may be in a difficult situation and the development of sexual identity may be disrupted. In such cases, an uncle, uncle, grandfather, male teacher, etc., that the child can adopt. model is needed.
Gender segregation may remain unclear in the boy growing up among older sisters, aunts.
In some families, since there are sons in a row, the mother wants to have a daughter, and when the last child is a boy, this child is deliberately or unconsciously treated like a girl; she does not leave him with her, grows her hair, wears ribbons and even dresses her.
Some mothers are very protective and protective of the boy. She keeps her child away from her boyfriends because she is afraid that they will hit her, that they will be beaten, and that she is afraid of learning rude and aggressive behavior. The child grows up passive, docile and insecure at his mother’s knee. For this reason, she cannot socialize with boys, participate in their games, and turn to girls whom she finds close to herself. This situation pleases the mother very much, ” My son is very well behaved like a girl”she rejoices.
Lack of a positive father example or faulty parental attitudes play an important role in the boy’s gender identity discrimination.
In the results of the research, it is found that homosexuals have a history of growing up without a father due to divorce or death before the age of 10. Again, according to the results of the research, in the childhood of the majority of homosexuals; It is known that she has features such as dressing like a girl, playing girl games and not being able to make friends with boys.
Of course, the child’s interest in girls’ toys or games cannot be a measure on its own, but care should be taken if this continues in later ages. It should not be forgotten that the most important factor in children’s healthy sexual identity separation is their parental attitudes and relationships.
Specialist Dr. Sevilay ZORLU
Psychiatrist & Psychotherapist
Sirinyali Mh. Ismet Goksen Cad.
1528 S. Shahbaz Apt. F:2 D:5
0 (242) 316 98 99