Vaginismus is the Couple’s Problem, Not the Woman’s!

What is vaginismus?

vaginismus; It is the condition in which sexual intercourse becomes impossible or painful as a result of the contraction of the muscles surrounding the outer part of the vagina during sexual intercourse. Contraction in the vagina may be accompanied by contractions in other parts of the body. The woman, who is panicked by the violence of the contractions and fear, may push her partner during the intercourse and close herself completely to the relationship. These behaviors may be perceived by the wife of the woman as if she does not want the relationship or as if she is closing herself consciously. But these contractions are completely involuntary and it is not in the hands of the woman to relax.

The name of the muscle group muscles in vaginismus PC (Pubococcygeus) Also known as the love muscle group. These muscles draw a line from the urethra to the anus and play a role in many bodily functions, from urination to birth. Under normal conditions, these muscles have the ability to stretch a lot during sexual intercourse. If the person does not experience fear and anxiety, and if the desire and stimulation is sufficient, the muscles will flex according to the size of the penis and sexual intercourse will occur easily. We can compare the muscle structure to a pleated skirt, it takes the shape of the structure it contains. In women with vaginismus, the condition occurs with an involuntary vaginal reflex and spasms narrow the vaginal entrance.

Women with vaginismus think that their vaginas are too small to accommodate the penis or that their hymen is too thick, and they will have great difficulty in sexual trials. There are no physical barriers for these women to experience sexuality in their bodies, rather they have faulty thinking structures. In a sense, we can say that vaginismus is a panic attack of the vagina. In other words, it is related to the cognitive and psychological processes of the person rather than the physiological processes.

Types of vaginismus

The problem of vaginismus can be primary and secondary.

Primary vaginismus:It exists since the person is sexually active.

Secondary vaginismus: It is the appearance of contractions later in a woman who had previously had painless sexual intercourse. This condition often occurs after a trauma or surgical intervention.

What is the cause of vaginismus?

Vaginismus is a psychological problem, except in very rare cases. Faulty thought structures and negative conditioning in one’s mind lead to this problem. The reasons for this are the lack of knowledge, insufficient sexual education, exaggerated descriptions of women’s first night experiences, being brought up with strict moral values, perceiving sexuality as a shame, sin, dirty thing, false information about the hymen or sexual intercourse. Being under the influence of anxiety, high level of anxiety, fear of getting pregnant, negative sexual experiences, bad childhood life, problematic parental relationship, over-controlled personality traits, emotional attachment difficulties, lack of trust and communication problems with spouse are common causes.

Vaginismus is the problem of the couple, not the woman!

Vaginismus should not be thought of as a problem experienced only by women. Men also have an important role in experiencing and treating the problem. For this reason, the man should not leave his wife alone and the spouses should attend the treatment together. What is important in terms of treatment is the continuation of cooperation and harmony between spouses.

Treatment of vaginismus…


The treatment process must be with the couple. Vaginismus may have a physical cause and therefore the woman should definitely see an obstetrician before sexual therapy.

In vaginismus, cognitive-behavioral therapy method, various breathing and relaxation exercises, and applications given together with the couple form part of the treatment. During the initiation of treatment, the couple’s or the person’s lack of sexual knowledge or erroneous learning is evaluated. Sex education is provided for these deficiencies. It is possible by dealing with both the mind and the body. It is aimed to clear the mind from negative conditioning and anxiety towards sexuality and to make the body accept and enjoy vaginal entry.

Resolving vaginismus mechanically is not sufficient for treatment. In order to offer the couple a healthy and happy sexual life, two stages are followed in the treatment. We aim to have sexual intercourse in the first stage. In the second stage, the techniques of enjoying sexual intercourse and having an orgasm are taught.

It cannot be treated with any medication or operation.

Vaginismus is the sexual dysfunction with the highest rate of successful treatment among female sexual problems.

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