If whisperings such as “Yes, yes, I heard it too, it happened to an acquaintance, is that the name?”, “Oh, what a difficult situation, my friend had a serious problem in his marriage,” here is VAJINISMUS, also known as “first night fear”.
Although vaginismus has many different definitions in sexual therapy and sexology resources, with its most general definition, it is the involuntary contraction of the muscles at the entrance of the vagina – the area on the female body that enables birth or sexual intercourse – and sexual intercourse is perceived as painful or impossible. The most important point I want to draw attention to in this definition is “involuntary contractions”. For those affected by vaginismus, sexual intercourse always evokes pain/pain, and this perception causes involuntary contraction of the muscles at the entrance of the vagina – the love muscles – with the signals it sends to the nervous system. Well, if you ask what brings the individual to this situation, of course, the story of each case is unique and different, but as a result of the stories we have heard from our family/environment since childhood, and the schemas such as fear, anxiety, guilt/sinfulness, disgust/dirty, shame/remorse formed by the information we have learned, ” If a penis enters me, I will have a lot of pain, pain and bleeding”, “What if we cannot unite and then they take us to the hospital?”, “What if I die from bleeding”, “Something may be lost in the vagina”, “I do not have a vaginal hole”, “What if If I don’t bleed and I’m accused of not being a virgin”, “The penis will tear my vagina apart” thoughts arise and as a result of the fear they create, vaginismus becomes inevitable. Moreover, without any of these, the woman cannot voluntarily have sexual intercourse depending on the partner – for example, because she does not want her partner – which we call pseudo vaginismus. Now, some of what I have told you may or may not suit you. As I said before, every case is unique, but for us, among the basic criteria of vaginismus, there are also fears and concerns about situations such as gynecological examination, tampon use, beyond fear of penis, penis-vagina union. In addition, in vaginismus, the penile-vagina union may occur somewhat, completely, or not at all. All of these may vary according to the severity of the case, but we know that the common point of all of them is the feeling of guilt they experienced as a result of these unsuccessful experiences – towards themselves or their partners. Regarding the treatment, I am not going to brag about “Vaginismus treatment is the easiest problem, we will solve it in 3-5 sessions” because the duration and success of the treatment depends on the severity of the case and the motivation of the couple, but I can assure you that SEXUAL THERAPY is one of the solutions you have tried so far – sexual intercourse. drinking alcohol beforehand, using only foreplay and alternative sex techniques, or having the hymen (hymen) removed by a gynecologist – on the contrary, is the only way to get you resolved and therefore worth a try.

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