Among the most frequent complaints from parents is my child tormenting me and not wanting to go to school. Every day, thousands of them choose black until they take them to school. Some of them even give up from time to time because the excuses made for not going to school and the behaviors exhibited continue until they get tired and not send them to school.
When it is time to go to school, excuses such as dizziness, stomachache, chest pain, anger and crying, and last-minute nausea can be listed to worry parents. The first thing you will do here is to tell your child that he will not go to school and observe if there is a change in his condition. If improvement is observed, it is clear that there is a problem with the school. If there is no improvement, take him to several different doctors and have him examined. Be sure of the diagnosis.
As for the question of why my child does not want to go to school, there can be many reasons. Separation anxiety is one of them. Considering that they spend almost half of the day at school, they are away from their families and in a different environment. This can be a big problem for children who are devoted to their parents. These children may have nightmares about school and may be sleep deprived in the morning. A school dropout can cling to his relative and drag him to school with him. They may vomit, tremble, and become restless. To avoid this, have a clear conversation with your child. Tell him what time he goes to school and what time he leaves. Even if they do not know the concept of clock, find a way to explain in language that they will understand because abstract concepts may worry them more. Show them you care by saying I love you and can’t wait to see you again.
Another reason could be that your child is being bullied at school. It is generally psychological, but it is practiced repeatedly with physical bullying. Children who are depressed, don’t have many friends, and therefore have low self-esteem, are bullied more often. Now, the internet together with the phones creates the environment for cyberbullying. It is possible to come across embarrassing photos, rude comments, humiliating videos. They exclude them and deal with it. They call names, they are seen even threatening. Take your child in front of you and talk to him. If she hints at bullying, give her suggestions to help prevent it. Do not delay reporting to prevent bullies from hurting more children. If you feel that you are not helping your child enough to prevent bullying, you can seek help from a professional.
We live in a time of intense academic pressure and stress. As family expectations increase, performance anxiety may develop. Even elementary school kids are in competition. Symptoms of performance anxiety are thoughts like I’ll fail, everyone will laugh at me if I’m wrong, everyone will think I’m stupid, I’ll be a disgrace. When these occur, the hands tremble, the mouth becomes dry, and the heartbeat accelerates. In these cases, it is also possible that there is a trauma experienced at school. For children who avoid going to school, good communication with them and expressing how you feel are a good step to overcome this.
Their experiences with their teachers at school may also cause this. Children who have teachers who yell and humiliate them experience a serious fear. Even a single subject teacher causes him to lose interest in other subjects and turns school into a nightmare. This is easily noticed by children who are heavily criticized, insulted, and humiliated in front of their friends when they do not do their homework. He doesn’t want to do his homework at home and gets irritable. He mostly projects his anger on his parents. These children, who openly express their anger at sending him to school, need to be understood by their families.
In these situations, what you will do is to talk to him often, to hear his positive and negative thoughts and to help him express himself. Don’t discount his feelings, don’t blame him. Let him share with you what’s behind it. Before expressing your opinion, keep your calm and listen without interrupting. Realize in the cafe that his thoughts are valuable to you. Don’t accept that he doesn’t go to school right away. Talk to him sweetly and choose an activity that he will enjoy when he gets home in the evening. Help with their homework. Praise him a lot for going to school. Encourage him until he warms up to school.