Two-year-old in the war of personality

2 YEARS OLD IN THE WAR OF PERSONALITY

The two-year-old period is the most important and most difficult period of child development. Frequent tantrums give parents a hard time. However, it is possible to overcome the 2-year-old syndrome by being prepared for the problems.

Parents think that everything will be easier after they get rid of the tiring pace of infancy. However, it is worth remembering that every age has its own difficulties. Especially in children, significant changes are observed in the 12-36 months, which is called the period of autonomy. By the age of 2, children are not content with just walking and talking, they read what they know. They get angry, cry, and throw tantrums. At this point, families are confused about what to do. First of all, it is necessary to be prepared for problems. It is extremely beneficial for parents to know what awaits them at the age of two and beyond. It is not difficult at all to get through the two-year-old period after the reasons are known and the necessary precautions are taken.

a natural reaction

In this negative period, the child becomes unstable, negative and stubborn. The child, who is in constant conflict with his parents, does the opposite of what they want. A cheerful, obedient and easy-to-manage child, until a short time ago, suddenly becomes sullen and grumpy. Psychologist Penbe Yazıcı states that this situation is very natural and says: While the level of judgment is quite insufficient in a 2-year-old child, the combination of strong will often causes him to conflict with his parents. The highest point of these conflicts is tantrums. These seizures do not necessarily mean that the child is malignant, ill-bred, or problematic. We can only say that it is an expression of the uncontrollability that we should accept as natural at this age. Children’s anger behaviors are quite diverse, such as objecting to everything, crying and throwing themselves on the ground, banging their head against the wall or the floor, refusing to eat, vomiting the food they have eaten, throwing whatever they can get their hands on.

Causes of anger

The child, who is passive, dependent and powerless until the age of two, takes the steps of socialization while looking for ways to express himself with the beginning of walking and talking. While trying to socialize, they encounter stimuli that will create anger in them. Psychologist Yazıcı collects these stimuli under the following headings:

* Taking away the toy

* do not wash

* Blocking

* Printed toilet training

* Eating

Anger behaviors are also encountered in cases such as the mother being overprotective, anger and violence in the family, not satisfying the physiological and psychological needs of the child, excessive prescriptive parental behaviors, sibling jealousy.

Duties of parents

Since this period is a period of first conflict between parents and children, their balanced and consistent behavior is very important. First of all, parents should be patient, knowing that these negative attitudes and acrimonies are temporary, and they should direct their attention to the games without forcing the child to a rigid order, without getting into unnecessary conflicts with the child in a cold-blooded manner. Psychologist Yazıcı warns parents as follows: “Parents should not frighten the child, avoid doing whatever the child wants to quell the anger, not apply unnecessary punishments that are not compatible with the behavior, and the child’s angry behaviors should not cause the parents’ anger. The child’s problem is not being able to calm down. If the parents get angry, the anger of the child is fed. The right thing to do is to leave the child, to leave him alone until he calms down, and then to come to him. It should not be forgotten that the anger of the child at this age is also a part of the efforts to adapt to the social environment. If we restrain all kinds of anger of the child, this time the child who directs the anger towards himself will start biting himself, tearing his hair, that is, harming himself.”

Sometimes the parents cannot find a solution in the face of the child’s tantrums, and even their relationship with the child comes to the point of deterioration. At this point, it is beneficial not only for the child who shows anger, but also for the parents to get professional help. The two-year-old period is the most important and most difficult period of child development. Frequent tantrums give parents a hard time. However, it is possible to overcome the 2-year-old syndrome by being prepared for the problems. Parents think that everything will be easier after they get rid of the tiring pace of infancy. However, it is worth remembering that every age has its own difficulties. Especially in children, significant changes are observed in the 12-36 months, which is called the period of autonomy. By the age of 2, children are not content with just walking and talking, they read what they know. They get angry, cry, and throw tantrums. At this point, families are confused about what to do. First of all, it is necessary to be prepared for problems. It is extremely beneficial for parents to know what awaits them at the age of two and beyond. It is not difficult at all to get through the two-year-old period after the reasons are known and the necessary precautions are taken.

ANIL SARAC

CHILD ADOLESCENT AND MARRIAGE THERAPIST

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