Trying to Change People’s Thinking

We have all tried to change the thoughts of the other person from time to time. We do this so that he or she will have the same opinion as us on any issue where we cannot find a common ground. But in doing so, we often miss the most important point. No one can change the other person’s opinion unless he or she wants it. This is why after a while we make an extreme effort to convince him of what we believe. Sometimes this situation results in the way we want, sometimes the effort we put in is wasted. Sometimes, the other person pretends to change his mind, and we believe it, but we overlook the following detail; The person does this either for the purpose of plaguing us or because he or she wants to believe.

Let’s think about who you tried to change their thoughts or their behavior depending on the thoughts; your mother, father, spouse, lover, friend, co-worker, boss, or anyone else with whom you have no intimacy. Your answer will be yes to at least one or two of these people. Because sometimes we do this without even realizing it. We suddenly find ourselves in that debate. But I think that this situation is mostly experienced between spouses or lovers. Because on the way you set out to share a life, you want your thoughts, ideas and behaviors to meet on a common denominator. Differences of opinion before marriage or the arguments you have for this reason may not bother you much. However, with your lifestyle that has changed after marriage, you may sometimes unconsciously want your spouse to have the same thoughts as you, to think the same as you and to behave as you wish, and now you begin to say the most frequently heard sentence; My wife changed after we got married.

In fact, when we look at it, nothing has changed, the differences of opinion you had before did not bother you much, but after living in the same house this part is very effective for you to think like that, this situation is starting to bother you now. I wanted to go through the example with the example of spouse and marriage, because this problem shows itself the most at these times, so you try a couple of times to change the mind of your friend or boss, but you don’t go any further. But the same is not true for your lover or spouse.

When we look at this issue in general, no matter what position we are in; There is only one point we have to accept; Unless the person wants to, no one can change his/her thought, opinion and accordingly his/her state, actions and thoughts. We will either accept the people we are uncomfortable with because of their situation, or we will remove them from our lives if we can. Otherwise, we will have made a wasted effort and this effort will wear us out over time.

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