We are leaving behind a full year that we spent with our family during the pandemic period, where there were social restrictions and measures; It is actually in our hands to turn the problems in our family structure, which are felt a little more during this period, into a crisis / opportunity. Before entering a new year, let’s get to know our family structure and strengthen the dynamism of our family with a solution-oriented perspective. If we pay attention to only a few important points; In addition to protecting our physical health, we will be able to protect both our family’s and our own mental health as well as our social life that we live by following the limited and measures during the pandemic process.
The family institution is an important social unit in all societies. Therefore, the family is considered the foundation of society. In other words, family; “It is a miniature of the world.” To understand the world and societies, it is enough to examine families. Because the family is the primary school of the people. Values such as love, respect, tradition and custom are first acquired in the family and passed on to future generations. Inability of the family to fulfill its function, or family members being too close or intertwined with each other; or they are too disconnected from each other; creates an unhealthy family structure. In this context, since all family members are evaluated with a holistic approach to the problems; It is possible to transform an unhealthy family structure into a healthy family structure.
What is a Healthy Family Structure?
Healthy families perform their functions very well. Family members are satisfied with family communication and are psychologically healthy; there is little conflict in the family and they adapt very easily to developmental variables. They cope very well with stressful events. healthy families;
They depend on each other and have high self-confidence,
Communication between them is clear and unambiguous,
They turn the crises in the family into opportunities,
They support each other’s success and there is a division of labor between them,
They do not inflict psychological and physical violence on each other,
They show a forgiving approach to each other’s mistakes.
Which of these features do you have in your home? All or some?
Look at your own family structure from this perspective.
What is Unhealthy Family Structure?
The general atmosphere in the family is conflictual and erratic. Inability of the family to fulfill its function, or family members being too close or intertwined with each other; Or it could be because they are too disconnected from each other. unhealthy families;
Their self-worth is low and family members do not trust each other.
Family internal communication is not open because it is closed, indirect and uncertain,
Family members fail to resolve conflicts and resentments are long-lasting.
Family rules are strict, authority is absolute, and there is no flexibility.
They compare their own family structure with other family structures and say, “Why did this happen to me, but I don’t deserve it!” They experience catastrophic regrets such as
Unhealthy families are always tense and always sweep their domestic problems under the carpet.
Is it Possible to Transform the Family with Unhealthy Family Habits into a Healthy Family Structure? It’s possible, here’s:
Avoid Rude Talk: Family members should never speak to each other using hurtful, vulgar or abusive words. In addition, giving nicknames, talking in a sarcastic and unpleasant manner also harms family relations. You shouldn’t say anything to your family members that you wouldn’t say to your best friend. While communicating, you should know your body language well and pay attention to the consistency of your body language and verbal language. In communication, know the importance of listening rather than telling, but listening with your heart, the language of me instead of you language.
Avoid Prolonging with Resentment: Prolonging resentments and resentments negatively affects all members of the family. Try to improve your conflict resolution skills, this will positively protect the internal dynamics of your family and the mental health of your family members. If you’re wrong, you shouldn’t see apologizing as a matter of pride or humiliation. Your communication should be clear, understandable and not accusatory; By expressing your own feelings, problems should be resolved before they escalate.
Embrace Appreciation: Every individual wants to be accepted, accepted and approved since he opened his eyes to the world. This is one of the most natural needs of not only children but also adults. However, in unhealthy family structures, there are sentences that contain humiliation and contempt instead of the feelings of appreciation and adoption that family members have for each other. Don’t be afraid to let your family members know that you’re proud of them, that you appreciate their success, and that you support their dreams. Discover the awareness that there will be individuals whose self-concept and self-confidence are supported by love, rather than parents who love their children while they are asleep so that they do not spoil them.
Don’t Withhold Your Love: No matter how old your family members are, don’t be afraid to show them your love, tell them your love, touch and hug them with love. The energy of a loving touch has the power to close many wounds.
In addition, if you fail to resolve your family conflicts despite all these; With the counseling under the guidance of Family Counseling, you will take a step towards a healthier and happier family by getting to know yourself and us in your relationship.