At the beginning of the questions asked by families, ‘why is he acting like this, how can we understand our children’ comes first. In fact, knowing the basic psychological facts is essential for establishing proper communication.
‘KNOWLEDGE IS THE BASIC CONDITION FOR GOOD COMMUNICATION WITH YOUR CHILD’
We all see events through our own mental lens. The degree to which this lens refracts reality varies from person to person. Just as someone who wears glasses forgets that they wear them after a certain period of time, we also forget that our thoughts on events are our own interpretations and that they are biased. Forgetting this fact causes serious problems and especially in communication with children of families.
For example, if our child’s success in school drops and he becomes reluctant to go to school, parents usually make a brief inquiry about what is happening at school. If there is no concrete reason from the child or the teacher, he is found guilty. The culprit is laziness (in the family lens). His children are tired of the lessons, he has no eyes to read. In fact, what is happening is to act hastily and label it negatively without thoroughly analyzing what is happening in the child’s world, why he reacts like this, and how he feels. Sometimes this type of reluctance causes traumas that cannot be told to the parents because they are afraid of the bottom, sometimes learning problems and sometimes anxiety. Making quick inferences just by looking at their children’s reactions brings along many problems.
WE MUST REMEMBER THAT THERE MAY BE SOME REASONS BEYOND THE APPARENT
Therefore, it is necessary to approach our children’s world with a positive interest, accompany their feelings and improve our communication skills. I summarize what needs to be done as ‘opening the ears, closing the mouths’. We wish to understand our children and each other well. Stay well…