The Relationship of the Enlarged Famous Bride and Mother-in-Law

Oh, what is it that has caused so much trouble to these people? Do we have prejudices? Do we have good reasons? Or is it a problem that we can no longer show the sensitivity we show to a neighbor to our family members?

What is family?

Whether you have a child or not, whether it is a single parent, a single child or children from previous marriages, the group of individuals living under the same roof for the same purpose shows the “family” structure. There are certain roles for individuals; mother-father, mother-in-law-father-in-law, bride-groom, parent-child… In functional families, these roles are defined clearly and appropriately. Some families experience confusion and negative relationships between roles.

functional families;

  • sharing feelings,

  • accepting individual differences,

  • collaborating,

  • ensuring that basic needs are met to sustain life,

  • solution oriented rather than problem oriented

  • developed coping skills

  • able to express feelings of appreciation,

  • strong communication,

  • consists of individuals who can spend time together.

If some of these functions are not fulfilled, dysfunctional families are formed. Think of a pot of tea on the stove; Everyone drinks tea from that teapot, but some like it light, some like it dark, some like it with sugar, some like it without sugar. And the one who pours the tea carefully distributes the tea, but if he does not know how the drinker is drinking when he first fills it, he cannot fill it accordingly. But when he learns, he pays attention to it. Just like this, when a situation occurs, it is necessary to adjust the behaviors according to the people in the environment, and although it is difficult to choose the appropriate behavior the first time, it will become easier in the future. And if we think of a tea strainer as the values ​​that the family has, the holes of this strainer should be just right so that things do not spoil the taste of the mouth, these values ​​can protect the family from external interventions. If we consider the fire that warms the teapot as tolerance, we know that the taste of tea will be lost before it is warmed, and we know that the difficulties in unity will increase without tolerance. In short, a cup of tea. FAMILY,And there is nothing better than a cup of tea drunk with taste…”

So what should be done to drink this tea with a taste?

A sea without waves must admit that there is no rose without thorns. The construction phase of a building is difficult, but the result can be astonishing. Let’s remember that the Blue Mosque was completed in 17 years and let’s look at its current magnificence. As you give time to get to know each other with the people you meet, brides should give time to their mother-in-laws. You’re just getting to know! If you say that I don’t care what he is or what he wants, you will start with a zero loss. Beware of…

Girls’ mothers are also important here. Your daughter may be an apprentice in housework while living with you, but it’s time to become a master. Let him take firm steps towards becoming a master. Never break yourselves for cooking and cleaning…

Your child may have problems with his wife, of course, there will be arguments in marriage, only the language of communication is important. You will always ask how the relationship between them is going, of course, but do not often ask in a controlling manner and do not choke. Let the young people solve their problems among themselves. Support needs can be met, you can be a good listener, but the person who directly solves the problem should be individuals who are experiencing the problem. If they have problems at work, do you go and find a solution? No.. He can handle it himself. It can also be done in marriage. Let them get to know each other well. Everyone’s jurisdiction is their own home, remember.

Dear couples, do not open up to your family at the slightest problem. You can solve it yourself. All you have to do is to come to terms with your spouse with the “I language” and empathizing without blaming. Remember, the person you want to share your life with is your “wife”.

Brides, remember that your mother-in-law has feelings too. You may have individual differences, this is due to generational difference, region, and upbringing. See and accept your differences and respect each other with your differences.

I would like to conclude my article with one last example.

While a couple is having breakfast on the balcony of their new house, the woman notices the woman hanging the laundry on the balcony opposite. He says to his wife, “Oops, look at this, doesn’t he know how to wash clothes at all, can’t he see that the clothes are black!” His wife doesn’t say anything. And this conversation is repeated for a few more mornings. A month has passed, and again one day, the woman looked at the opposite balcony and said, “Oh, sir, have you seen, the woman has learned to wash clothes, the laundry has turned white. I wonder who taught it?” His wife looks at him and says “I wiped our windows the other day.”!!!

Yes PERSPECTIVE! Sometimes we need to change our perspective. You can find happiness by changing your perspective!

May you have years when you change your perspective, know the key to your language and drink a cup of tea with a taste!

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