Brutal criticism or mutual accusations are undoubtedly the phenomena that eat away at relationships. There are actually simple rules for solving such miscommunication situations.
GOOD COMMUNICATION IS ESSENTIAL FOR GOOD RELATIONSHIP
When couples apply to sex therapists and marriage therapists to resolve their sexual problems or conflicts in their relationships, the area where therapists have the most difficulty with their clients is to make the communication in the problematic relationship healthy. Broken communication; It is a fact that problems are important in their initiation and maintenance. This situation complicates therapy, and when therapists do not focus on communication problems and these problems are not resolved, the application of other techniques is interrupted. Communication is an indispensable issue in both sexual therapy and marriage therapy. We propose a technique to eliminate miscommunication. With the application of these techniques, a suitable ground can be created for the solution of communication problems of couples.
“ BREAK THE CIRCLE OF FEAR”
‘ Breaking the circle of fear‘ can be defined as ‘When couples make a negative assessment of each other, blame or criticize each other, we suggest the technique:
Behind every accusation, criticism, and negative evaluation, there is a hidden secret. wish lies down. It is necessary for the person to discover this wish and demand it from his partner. “ You don’t love me, you don’t care about meThe secret wish of the person who says ” is actually “ love me, take care of me ” form. But maybe it’s easier to blame rather than say it. Because most couples have expressed these wishes before and have been rejected or too afraid of rejection . She believes that everyone should love and take care of her. That’s why they unconsciously circle of fear they form. However, by breaking the circle of fear, one should put aside blaming the other person and give this wish to his partner unconditionally and without expecting anything in return. should express clearly . this much should ask for it and demand it clearly . If the request is met and his partner gives him what he wants, he can do it as a accept it as a gift and give thanks . But even if the partner does not fulfill this request, the person will never do this. should not personalize . He should not see it as an insult to his identity and personality, and no matter what votei as mature should respect.
FIX YOURSELF FIRST
Every negativity, negativity, criticism or blame seen in someone is actually all these things. There is also the person who . Person He does not see in others what he does not have in himself. . He does not say that he did not do it to someone else as an accusation. So all of the accusations that are made in these kinds of fights are actually our unconscious making us see our own faults. that he has presented is a formula . We are one ” You are so messy When we say ”, this expression shows that the person using it is also a messy place. Women often say this to their spouses a lot. Thus, instead of seeing her own mess, the woman saw her own fault in her husband. Just as MevlanaAs in the words of ” The crime you see in the other person is the type of your crime. First you have to get rid of that habit from your own nature. Your ugly disposition appeared to you in him. ” It is very easy for a person to notice some flaws in others that he cannot accept or overcome. That is, Mevlana Instead of blaming and changing the other person, start with yourself first and correct yourself.Thus, when the person discovers his own fault and changes himself, his relationship and then his partner will also be positively affected and everything will change. In other words, the analysis within the person will definitely have the same effect on the other side. Seeing your own faults, blaming yourself is the balm and remedy for that shame. Change scares everyone. Because identity and personality are difficult to change. The phenomenon we propose to change here behaviour Truck. When behaviors are changed in accordance with the will, thoughts and feelings It will also adapt over time. Couples who manage to apply these 2 rules, which are easy in their own right, realize positive change and transformation.”