Hey, I’m telling you!
Yes, yes to you… Don’t look to the left and right for nothing.
Aren’t you tired of dialing the same numbers all these years?
Aren’t you tired of catching up with everyone and neglecting yourself?
Aren’t you tired of trying to make people love you with all your might and still dwelling in the lonely street?
For God’s sake, aren’t you tired of living as if you are happy, looking strong, acting as if you are and pitying your inner self?
Look, beautiful person, I know what you’ve been through. But his sentences that begin with… Your relationship, your marriage, your children, your parents, your friends, your job. I know them all.
Nowhere is things going well.
You lean into the night with hope and wake up unhappy in the day.
For example, with your spouse, it doesn’t go the way you want.
Many times you say that you do not understand what you want, what you are upset about, you complain about it and then you retreat to your own port.
Over the years, your experiences get heavier, numb and even alienated from yourself, right?
Or your kids buddy. I can hear the children who you lay the world at their feet, and when you look into their eyes, your heart cries… I wish I could be a better parent. Sometimes, when you can’t control your anger, you yell at the top of your head, maybe hurt your spouse, whom you married with a thousand hopes, and even your children, whom you can’t stop smelling, right? As our ancestors said to hurt the sharp vinegar cube, you also hurt yourself the most. I know my friend, you are falling apart, you are getting lost in your own corridors, you cannot get it together. It’s like you’re falling off a cliff into a deep void. It’s as if I’m alive or not, sometimes you think about whether you’re alive or not. It is as if you are experiencing absence in existence, constantly struggling with the nothingness within yourself. You follow the way you know best to escape from those gaps, to prove your existence to yourself again. Well, the road you know best may not take you to heaven, but it takes you from the path to the picture of heaven. Sometimes you drink alcohol, sometimes you go shopping, sometimes you go to the hairdresser’s, sometimes you have random relationships. You get instant pleasure while doing these, but when it is over, you suffer from a deep remorse and try to hold on to life again as if punishing yourself with regrets, and you destroy your huge castles just to have your existence approved, right? Concession breeds concession, and their demands are not stopped, right?
There are moments when you don’t want to see your lover, spouse, children, parents, friends that you say you love so much. Every now and then, you think of memories from the past, but these are not memories that make you smile and make you happy. Negative memories that you want to forget but can’t forget, that sometimes enter your dreams and occupy your mind when you are distracted from time to time. It’s like the more you remember them, the more angry you get. It’s like you have a hard time managing those feelings. It seems like you’re moving away from those around you because you’re struggling, because you don’t want to face them. It’s like there’s no one left. What do you say? It’s like you can’t stand anyone, you can’t attract anyone?
You have to go far, far away to places where no one knows you, right? To think for a long time, to open old notebooks, to unload the burdens on one’s back, and most of all to make life clean… Ah, my friend, even if you go to the farthest corners of the world, nothing will change if you don’t go to the world inside you, you know that.
Honestly, when was the last time you looked in the mirror? When did you examine the folds on your face and the changes in your body? You didn’t remember, did you? Yes, because it’s been so long that he’s gone by himself. What happened that you gave up on yourself? For whom, for what, when did you do this to yourself? If you want to think about it. Don’t rush. Think. Look, my friend, there is a child inside of him who is cowed, scared, ready to attack at any moment, anxious, abandoned, shy, waiting to be pulled out of the well he was thrown like Yusuf. Let the little boy in you speak a little, my friend. Let it lighten your load. Ask him what has he got? Like, how can I help you?
When was the last time you did this? When did you talk to him? You didn’t talk, you couldn’t talk, did you? You were afraid, you did not dare. Because you knew what he was going to say would hurt you. Because you weren’t ready for this. Because you had so many excuses to suppress your inner voice. He was the one who was always silenced. Abandoned, forgotten, unseen, unable to be heard…
You’re having trouble breathing now, aren’t you? You’re stuck, man. You’re stuck. You know, I often have a headache, my chest is tight, my hands are sweaty, my legs are numb… Neither your body nor your soul carries this burden anymore, my friend. That child you suppressed, ignored, ignored, there it is! He suffers, he is afraid, he is cramped, he is helpless, he has lost hope. Stretch out your hand to him, look into his eyes and say: “Don’t be afraid, I won’t hurt you any more. Sorry. I didn’t notice you. Tell me who are you? How can I help you?” Don’t be afraid, ask my friend, ask that child so that he can get out of the blind wells he fell into. Ask someone to know that you saw or heard him. Let him notice the difference. Ask him to feel important. Ask him to forget how much you neglected him until now. Ask him to ease the shame he feels for what you’ve done so far. Ask my friend. Ask to increase your love, to strengthen your bond. Listen to that boy, love him. Hug me, hug me, don’t stay away. Wrap it so that the wounds crust over. So that you can be forgiven, forgive. Wrap it up so that that child will forgive you, and there will be a basis for him to say goodbye to you. If you don’t do it, no one will do it to him. If you don’t reach out to him, if you don’t listen to his problems, no one will value him, yes, yes, as you said, no one will value him. Did you really ask, who are you? You asked, yes you did, but you didn’t get an answer, did you? He didn’t know who he was. Don’t rush, don’t squeeze, wait, let him think a bit.
By the way, dude, who are you? Where are you in your life? What is the meaning of your life? Is not it difficult? You seem to say don’t ask any more? No, my friend, I will ask and I will ask you by looking into your eyes. Every question will be stuck in your head, so that you will not forget them for the rest of your life. Because if I don’t ask, you won’t be able to ask yourself these questions for the rest of your life, you won’t be able to. Let me do you this favor. In the meantime, I’m going to ask you about that child in you. Only that child will give you the answer. It’s the child you neglected, the child inside you that didn’t grow. Come on, stop whining and making excuses. Be brave, you have no other life. There is no life you can sacrifice for others. You cannot escape reality by turning your head away, averting your eyes, burying your head like an ostrich. Come on man, get in front of a mirror and ask yourself this question every day: “Who are you?” Listen to that boy, beautiful person. That child may have been left in the dark by his parents years ago, he may have been neglected in many ways instead of being understood and appeased, that child needs you very much now. Stop blaming the past, your parents, your spouse, your friend… Now it’s your turn to take care of that child that was not taken care of in the past. You cannot change the past, but you have the power to change the present. Come on, take that kid’s hand. Listen, look, that boy is singing, crying. Look, that boy is loving, angry. Accept it in all its forms. When you’re angry, lonely, and insecure, hug him, don’t worry, I’m here.
The good in that kid. Your life energy. Feed that child with your love, raise him, feed him. Let it grow and mature. Let it come today, let your inside and outside unite. Then only you will be you, my friend. Then you will be yourself. You don’t know what it means to be yourself, do you? …What did Friedrich Nietzsche say “As soon as you begin to understand life, being able to stand still is on your feet. That’s the problem: to be with someone else is not to be someone else. Being yourself with someone else, being yourself with someone else”…
What does it mean to be yourself with someone else and be yourself with someone else? Think about it, how many people could be yourself? How many people have asked who am I? I’m sorry man, a lot of people don’t turn around and ask themselves this question. He is living the life he wants, not the life he wants. Just like you’ve lived until today, whoever wants it, however you want it, how you can please him… It was always like that, wasn’t it? You are right, my friend, when our destiny is born, it begins to be staged in the cinema of life, and unfortunately, when we are on the screen, the voice is always someone else’s. They play us the way they want. If you do what they want, not what comes from your own heart, you are loved. If you do not misbehave, you are loved. If you are silent, you are loved. If you study, you are loved. Because when you did your heart, you were not loved, you were scolded, you were punished. You took that step because you felt it, you crossed the border because you were always wondering what was behind the wall that was built and you innocently followed what you wondered. And at that moment, you encountered an unexpected reaction, right? Yes, you’re surprised at what you’ve been through because you’ve been banished from heaven or you’ve always been threatened with expulsion. You’re right my friend, who would dare to be expelled from heaven? Of course, you gave up on your wishes, yourself. Always look into your eyes. As long as I don’t get kicked out of heaven, you became the child they wanted so that I could always be loved. You were that kid but you couldn’t be you, man. You forgot yourself so that I could be loved. As such, it is meaningless to be angry with those who expect nothing in return, neither to love nor to be loved. You’re right, you don’t know any other way, they didn’t teach it! I’m sure if you knew, you would have lived the other way, that is, the healthy one, you would have kept it alive. So what is healthy? Don’t forget yourself, be yourself first.
Be yourself so you can allow the other person to be yourself while you become us. Be natural, live as you feel. Live like this so that you neither neglect yourself nor neglect anyone else. Let’s live humanely, human to human, with love, respect, compassion, compassion, without exploiting anyone, without resorting to lies, without asking what he thinks about me, without wondering if he will give up on me if I say or do this…
Do not be afraid, my friend, do not be afraid. Everything is possible in life. Don’t give up this time, come give yourself a chance this time. Who did you not give this opportunity to? Why are you denying yourself? You are just as valuable as they are. You deserve to be loved just as much as they do. Let go man, don’t hold back. Let your tears spill. Relax. Whoever said that the cloud cannot be asked for its load said it wrong, my friend. Ask him to tell in the cloud, let him pour out, let him empty his load, to the endless blues, let him be free in the skies of life..
Yes, my friend, I see the pain, sadness, grief, shame in your eyes. You’re right. It is very difficult to deal with. There’s a lot of you in the well inside. Some are offended, some are sad, some need love, some are indifferent, some are angry, some are worried… Do you think, my friend, which of you is worthy of being saved? Which one will you save? Yes, my friend, of course, the one waiting to be rescued. The one who realizes that he is in the well and mobilizes his hope with cries of help in case someone comes and pulls me out. Of course, the one who does not realize that he is in the well does not have to worry about getting rid of it. There is no well for those who do not want to be saved. For those who want to be saved, even the sultanate is a well. My friend, which one are you? If you’re the Yusuf thrown into the well, you’ll learn to endure this pain, my friend. Because you can’t be sultan to Egypt without falling into a well. If you’re Yusuf, you’ll be ready for the well…
That’s how my friend, I know it’s been a long time since we talked, since we opened up to someone else. I know it’s hard to reveal to someone else what they hide, even from themselves, and run away. But this difficulty is not what you know, is it? Because you were not criticized, you were not judged, you were not threatened with lack of love, despite what you said. You felt good. Maybe this is the first time you’ve felt so relaxed. For the first time you have experienced someone with all your nakedness and you have been accepted in all your ways. That sounds good to you, doesn’t it? The burdens on his shoulders lightened. Well, it’s been a long time since we talked. I missed you man. Didn’t you miss yourself? How about we do this more often? Hal remembers, we spill what’s inside of us, huh. Well agreed then. I’m always here when you need it. Honest friend, don’t forget the boy. Entrusted to you. Come on, entrust yourself to God. See you…