The lover pursued; self-confidence

Self-confidence has always been a goal that is pursued and never fully attained in one’s life. In its simplest definition, self-confidence, which means how a person thinks about himself and how valuable he sees himself, has begun to affect our lives since the first childhood.

The place and importance of trust in human life is very great. The lack of this feeling prevents the person from living a peaceful, successful and fulfilling life. It is often insufficient or even impossible to try to fill or close the gap created by the feeling of insecurity with other things. This gap can only be filled by self-development, that is, by raising one’s self-worth. Self-confidence is a condition that develops at all ages and is likely to develop. In other words, the fact that some things were skipped at the time does not mean that we will remain insecure for life. Of course, the experiences in the first childhood, that is, in the 0-6 age period, form the basis of the feeling of trust. But even in this period, self-confidence, which has been inhibited or not developed in one way or another, can be strengthened again by what the person does, achieves and learns in later ages.

If a person’s relationship with himself is strong and healthy, the higher his presence, influence and power in the face of the outside world. Thus, the person turns into a self-confident individual with a sense of competence. Life is full of ups and downs, troubles, successes and failures, happiness and sadness. These are the natural processes of life. The important thing here is not to let go of the flow of events, but to take responsibility and try to drag the events after us with courage and determination. To do this requires self-confidence. When self-confident people are unsuccessful or unhappy, they take responsibility for it and begin to look for ways and solutions to reverse these situations. Of course, in the face of that failure or unhappiness, they get emotional like every other person, so they get sad, cry, get angry and disappointed.

Because being a self-confident person does not mean being a robot. But after a reasonable time, they lift their heads and start looking for solutions. They don’t get stuck, they don’t constantly complain about the language of negativity. They know they are not helpless and they take action. People who lack self-confidence believe that the reasons for their failure are their own faults and, worse, that it cannot be changed. In the face of life’s dilemmas and difficulties, they easily lose hope and fall into a great depression, submit to their fate and whine in desperation. People with self-confidence are more productive and efficient in their own peaceful world. Since they know their selves better, they know what they can and cannot afford, and they set their goals accordingly. Thus, they increase the probability of being more successful.

They continue to direct their lives according to their own wishes and purposes, not according to the wishes and expectations of others. They do not run away from their problems; they do not allow problems to appear bigger than they are by confronting them. Conscious of what their duties and limits are, they hold themselves accountable instead of looking for a criminal for what they do. As independent individuals, they have the right to decide and choose. They know better what to do. They make their choices according to their own will and desires. They know that making a choice is taking responsibility. Making a choice also means taking the risk of making the wrong choice. Realizing that life is all about choices is to think about what you really want to do when you are lost in the side streets of a huge city full of unknowns, instead of looking for rules to be gratefully followed.

Realizing that life consists of choices means saving less wish in a piggy bank, whose existence may be noticed years later. To take responsibility is to accept that you are the undisputed creator of that event with all its consequences. Assuming responsibility is like paying for a meal. Because events do not happen to the person, bad things do not always find the person, the person makes the choices that lead to bad things. Not making a choice, waiting, even letting things flow is a choice, choosing not to choose. As a result, without accepting responsibility, a person cannot improve himself, cannot improve himself, cannot live his own existence. A person has control over his life to the degree of responsibility he accepts. Self-confidence is required to achieve this control. It depends on self-confidence to be able to endure all kinds of consequences of the choices one makes.

A person who makes a choice, takes responsibility and takes control of his life is a self-confident person. A self-confident person is one who has attained the unbearable pleasure and peace of existence, that is, reunion. On the other hand, people who lack self-confidence pay attention to what others say, not themselves, while exercising their rights to manage their lives, make independent decisions, and make choices. Nor can they make a choice, the choices they make are not really their own. They always pass the ball to someone else because they avoid taking responsibility. They let others control their own lives. Because their self-worth is low, they always look for the blame in themselves. The belief that they cannot do anything well is very strong. And unfortunately, such people entrust themselves to a life full of restlessness.

Something is always missing in their lives. And sometimes they try to take on very different roles and identities in order to suppress or hide their insecurities. Sometimes it can even help them gain a false advantage or gain. But unfortunately, it does not bring peace, happiness and success in the long run. Well, what can we do to be self-confident or to improve self-confidence. Items can be listed for this. But I will talk about what I believe is the most effective and even includes all other items. This is OUR THOUGHTS. The life and destiny of a person who changes his thoughts or puts his thoughts in order also changes. We must never forget the proposition that we are what we think.

Gandhi says: “Let your thoughts be positive because your thoughts become your words; keep your words positive because your words become your actions; keep your actions positive because your actions become your habits; keep your habits positive because your habits become your values.” Likewise, Frances Wilshire in her book “You” said, “You are the most indispensable being in the universe, no matter where you are, what you are, how big or small your life is, you are the center of your own world and always will be.” William William Shakespeare also says, “There is no such thing as good and bad, we create it with our thoughts.” Looking at all this, we can say that the only thing a person who wants to change his world can do is to change himself, that is, to change his thoughts. It is not an easy process to realize the need to change our thoughts and to go over it. Because some of our thoughts are ingrained and ingrained from childhood. It takes insight and courage to notice, change and create new thought patterns. Reading, searching for and trying new fields of activity to improve oneself, and starting PSYCHOTHERAPY as the most effective method are the most effective ways to do this. How well said CGJung; The life of the one who cannot flow is blurred. Those who have the courage to look into their own heart are the ones who discover the desire of their heart. He who looks outside dreams, gets lost in the world of dreams, who looks inside wakes up and discovers himself. I wish everyone a peaceful and safe life…

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