The importance of family meetings in raising children

In our daily life, we are in constant communication with our mother, father, sibling, spouse, child, in short, with members of our family. During this communication process, we always talk about issues that concern the family or individual individuals. However, these conversations are generally far from addressing each issue from its various aspects and in a democratic manner where everyone’s opinion is included.

In most families, these conversations take the form of informing the child of the decisions made by one of the members, usually the parents, on matters related to their child, rather than an exchange of views and consequent reaching a decision. In such cases, the individual, who cannot express his opinion and has to comply with the decision, feels himself under pressure.

This spoils the warm relationship between family members, and undermines the oppressed person’s self-esteem. In addition, the solution of the problem becomes more difficult, because the member who does not have a say in the decision will naturally not try hard enough for a solution that he does not adopt. When this is the case, the same problems will come up again and again, and perhaps an easily solvable issue will turn into an ongoing problem.

In most families, these conversations take the form of informing the child of the decisions made by one of the members, usually the parents, on matters related to their child, rather than an exchange of views and consequent reaching a decision. In such cases, the individual who cannot express his opinion and has to comply with the decision, feels himself under pressure. This spoils the warm relationship between family members, and undermines the oppressed person’s self-esteem. In addition, the solution of the problem becomes more difficult, because the member who does not have a say in the decision will naturally not try hard enough for a solution that he does not adopt. When this is the case, the same problems will come up again and again, and perhaps an easily solvable issue will turn into an ongoing problem.

We need to follow a different method in order to live happily in the family and to successfully solve the problems we encounter. The prerequisite for achieving a successful solution to a family issue is that everyone involved can come together and express their views easily.

This means: The family should take time for themselves. The method suggested by psychology for this “Family Reunions”is.

At the family meeting, all members of the family come together at a certain day and time of the week to share certain issues. In meetings, problems, contradictions, difficulties, sorrows, forward-looking projects, etc. topics are discussed. This day and time is determined by consulting each member in advance and linked to a calendar. Thus, the principle of democratic participation in meetings began to be implemented from this point on.

Once you’ve embraced the idea of ​​family gatherings, you can open up that thought by arranging a family meeting. You should avoid perceiving meetings as an imposition, emphasizing that family members will always have the last word together. For example, the family may not want to meet every week, as in some application examples, they may not want to elect a secretary or president. From this first meeting, decisions should be taken together. In the beginning, it is useful to keep the meetings short. After the meeting, you can make the event warmer and more fun with activities such as eating together or having dessert. It is also necessary to avoid making family meetings an environment where only problems are discussed. These meetings should also be a place where travel, vacation and shopping plans are made, and the family has a pleasant time together in a cooperative atmosphere. The most important feature of family meetings is the principle that decisions are made not only by the parents, but also in a democratic way with the participation of the children.

Children who are given the opportunity to express themselves increase their self-confidence, get rid of addiction with the thought that they can control their lives, and become more willing and successful in taking responsibility. They feel themselves to be active members of a team, who have the same right as adults to take decisions and set rules in the family. Children who grow up in such a democratic environment develop internal discipline and acquire problem-solving skills.

The decisions taken in these meetings, which are held with the democratic participation of all members of the family, are of higher quality, because as a result of such an application, everyone’s opinion is taken and a decision that is suitable for everyone is agreed upon. So there are no winners and no losers. In order for no one to lose and for everyone to win, no one should say “no” to the decision made at the meetings, and everyone’s approval must be obtained. Voting should not be done, the issue should continue to be discussed until everyone agrees on a solution that works for them, because when voting takes place, one side wins and the other loses. If a consensus cannot be reached on the subject discussed at the meeting, it can be discussed again at the next meeting.

Family meetings are an educational environment that not only provides the solution to the problems concerning the family, but also provides the opportunity for children to gain experience in human relations during the meeting process. Here, it is important that the parents give the right guidance.

Parents should first inform and educate themselves on the principles of human relations and effective communication in order to be a model for their children. The basic principles of communication such as listening, understanding, accepting and respecting opposing ideas, expressing negative feelings and thoughts without blaming, judging or criticizing should be used effectively by parents.

It is beneficial to discuss the problems of children at the beginning in the meetings. Children who see that they are listened to and understood are more willing to listen and understand adults.

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