The hardest thing in the world; forgive

‘Forgiveness’ is a subject that has been written and drawn on for a long time. Forgiveness, in other words, forgiveness is a completely human action. A person who makes evaluations by thinking within the framework of maturity and logic, and then comes to the decision-making stage with the support of his emotional structure, is faced with perhaps one of the most difficult actions to take. Forgiving an individual is certainly not an easy task. When human egos, the feeling of revenge, the impulse to react and a few other factors are considered, it becomes very difficult for individuals to forgive each other. The phenomenon of forgiveness is a phenomenon whose meanings and importance can vary from person to person. So why is it so hard to forgive? Because if there is something that hurts a person’s soul, there is forgiveness. Simple things do not require forgiveness. There are things that leave a mark on the other side, that mark a point in his life, that tighten his throat as he remembers, that narrow his soul, in behaviors that require forgiveness. Therefore, if the person will forgive; It means that he will endure the pain of his soul, learn to live with it, accept it. Research shows that; we often find it harder to forgive those we feel closer to ourselves. The situations in which we feel negative come more severe. One negativity can cancel out a lot of positivity. In addition to all these, there is another thing that is a little foreign to us but that we are experiencing a lot of trouble with, ‘forgiving ourselves’. While an author describes guilt as ‘death’s best friend’, he once again reveals how difficult it is to forgive, especially one’s self. I understood the other person, and you have come across many conversations in your daily life that started with how to forgive myself, and continued with people who could not have done this if I had not allowed them. Because I hear these phrases the most from my clients. So why is forgiveness so important? Forgiveness is a necessity for healing. In order to alleviate the insecurity, the feeling of not being understood, the feeling of dissatisfaction you experience in relationships and to feel strong; It is important to forgive for yourself, not for the person you forgive. Alleviation of anger; The dissolution of feelings of guilt and regret is only possible with forgiveness. Forgiveness is a unique way to know and understand yourself. Unless you go that route, it will be difficult for your relationships to satisfy you. Forgiveness liberates. It is necessary to analyze the past well in order to step into relationships that you believe will make you feel better, to strengthen your existing relationships, and to be able to trust again and again. If the aim is to become a better person and mature, forgiveness is a necessary step to be completed. We said that forgiveness is important for your own mental health, but it is very difficult to say that forgiveness is easy. First of all, it is necessary to take into account that you have many anger and resentments that you are not even aware of. It should not be forgotten that these feelings are hidden and covered by strong defense mechanisms. You may come to a certain point in your relationships without experiencing any trouble, and you may not need to reveal the feelings you hide knowingly or unknowingly. However, after a point, if you started to experience blockages, if your relationships seem out of control, if you are not satisfied and enjoy as much as before, it may be time to question your relationships and get to know and understand yourself through these relationships. I wish you to forgive everything in your life, especially yourself, and everything that has an emotional burden on your back, stay with love…

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