The Cycle of Your Own Inner Restlessness..

Sometimes it is good to be organized, to make a schedule, to have something clear, at some point we try to prepare ourselves for the uncertain according to the situations that catch us off guard. Because uncertainty bothers us, we feel restless. When this is the case, we make the program of the day one after the other and force the people around us to sleep with these programs. Our spouse, our lover, our mother, our child, our brother, our colleagues, etc. disturbs their comfort. It is as if they are not clear, the thought that if you do not check at every moment may delay or not do something, it bothers you. You don’t think that the people around you won’t do it, but because you think that it can’t do it to your program speed, like you can’t do it exactly the way you want it to be. The state of not doing it gnaws at you, it bothers you more, then you try to control it more. To be clear, you make back-to-back schedules, to-do lists for the day, weekly grocery shopping lists, monthly payment schedules, scheduling fun activities, study schedule, etc.

The need to control the restlessness within you, the need for clarity, for you to be comfortable, for the restlessness in you to go away, forces you at some point. These programs, wishes and needs do not go as you want, the feeling of anger constantly intensifies. You don’t want even minor setbacks to reach your desired goal. You constantly try to control yourself and control your surroundings in order to relieve the restlessness inside you. Controlling those around you also makes them uneasy at a certain point, creates problems, distances you from yourself, and the things you want to do stop. Because this situation causes them to get angry, the state of being constantly controlled and not believed as if they were a child. And it becomes a repeating cycle for you. It’s a repeating cycle of more programs, more order, more control, more anger, and more programs and more control. Your own cycle, the cycle of your own inner restlessness.

So much so that it’s more about not being able to let go of your own control than others, it’s about something won’t go right if you let go, the main thing is about constantly restraining yourself, otherwise it’s about the fear of losing something, it’s about losing your self, your integrity that you’ve been trying to solidify for years.

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