The ‘Change for Someone Else’ Crisis in Relationships

The concept of change is an existential situation that takes place very often in philosophy. As a matter of fact, the wind of change extends from Heraclitus, who said, “You can’t bathe in the same river twice,” to Rimbaud, who said, “I am someone else.”

According to Nietzsche, even though repetition itself repeats forever, it is undeniable that we have an existential resistance to change. The winds of change that create contradictions even within ourselves when the time comes, can leave us in various dilemmas when triggered by the will of others.

External factors (our relationships, traumas, negative events and thoughts) that may damage self-esteem and self-esteem can even bring our self-esteem to the point of lowering! In this case, the responsibilities of the decisions and choices we make without “really” wanting and feeling ready can be quite wearisome. Like everything else, there is a solution to this, of course.

How can this situation be overcome in a healthy union?

Empathize

One of the key points for us to understand each other and meet at a common point in our relations is to look at the world through the eyes of another. We must understand our partner’s feelings and thoughts and protect him/her from situations that will create a sense of guilt by leaving him/her in various dilemmas.

Personal Areas Should Be Considered

In healthy relationships, partners should have areas of separation and union. It can manifest itself in thoughts as well as in activities. We should allow others to think differently from us and support this situation under all circumstances.

I disagree with your views, but I will fully support your right to defend your views.

Evelyn Beatrice Hall

Don’t Miss Couple Times

Couple times do not have to be very flashy and extreme activities to get away from routine in our relationships. “Now, I’m here and I’m listening to you.” All the moments where we can deliver the message are very special. Even if our partner wants to change, sometimes a small feeling or thought within himself can become something that prevents him. We have to respect that feeling and be able to let it choose.

Respect and Unconditional Acceptance

Although the outside world can often be far from unconditional acceptance, we should not hold our partner on a conditional or exchange principle in our relationships. Every individual is unique and valuable. We must support his self-esteem and ensure that even if his desire for change is for his own good, we must do so by speaking openly and making him feel understood, without using manipulation methods.

Not Approaching Situations as Black and White

Life is our “grey area”, so in our relationships, “This is a very bad situation!” Before saying that, as in everything, we have to balance. with our partner without compromising our self-esteemFinding the middle ground and putting mutual effort into our relationship will enrich the relationship.

Being Both Me and Us

This part is often skipped in our relationships. We begin to have relationships and all of a sudden we arrange our needs in accordance with the other person, then when we look at our own little world we begin to think that we have given more than ourselves but not received as much. However, in a relationship, we exist with our personal space and selves, and we seem accepted. It is not selfish to want to meet our individual and emotional needs. At its simplest, sometimes it’s just a feeling of being understood. An unintentional change can wear down our “self” in relationships.

being able to say no

Sometimes, in some relationships, common ground cannot be found and the issue of “change” can lead to a real crisis.
You do not find yourself willing and you give up some aspects of yourself for the happiness of your partner, knowingly that you will be unhappy later on… It is our most natural right to be able to say “No” to this situation of border violations.
Although this situation may seem like a moment of crisis, it is possible to turn it into an opportunity and re-establish the dynamic of the relationship. We should be empathetic to our partner so that he understands why we say no, explain why we do not want change, and offer him the opportunity to understand us. It is important to remember that sometimes saying no:

Can Make a Dancing Star Out of Chaos.

Nietzsche

“The only constant is change”

This saying, which is one of the most philosophical sentences we can base on scientific evidence in life, winks at us in our relationships. As long as the change is experienced with the mutual acceptance and desire of both parties, it can become a situation that opens new doors for us and adds color to our relations. This situation can be overcome by filtering through our common filters, both individually and as a couple.

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