I can’t hear you say, “Again, it’s a self-help article, it’s all the same.” But I can guess… If the title caught your attention and you started reading this article, maybe you need another one of the same articles you’ve read before? While we’re here, shall we continue?
Our question is: Why are we unhappy? We used to be happier, but now we come to mind about this unhappiness? Maybe we relaxed, became conscious and talked more about it, what do you think? If you can say that I am happy and can say it easily, hooray! Leave this post aside and keep doing what you’re doing!
If you say that I am unhappy, I cannot say this easily and you are very bored with this situation, let’s talk a little bit. Everything is gonna be okay.
Now I want you to visualize something. This is such a place; It has a large courtyard surrounded by high walls on all four sides and you are allowed to go out at certain times, guards are walking in its corridors, roll call is taken every day and you are very happy when you come out from here. Where is here? No, it’s not a prison. The place I’m talking about is the school you went to every day for years. You, who spent most of your life here, may be a little unhappy.
They always made you believe you had to be better than someone else, didn’t they? First, your mother questioned why your math grade was lower than Ayşe, the girl next door, and then you. So why didn’t anyone hear how well she sang? Why are the stories you wrote always hidden in your notebooks? Because you had to be first in everything and for that you needed tangible results. Because competition is always rewarded. Maybe you were lucky enough to make your voice heard and read their stories, but something always prevented you from living the moment. I know it’s very depressing, you were happier before you started reading the article, yes. But remember, you put yourself in the position to need to read this. Well, we’ll handle it…
So who do you think is happy? That guy in the suit with a high-status job? Or is it the mother who drove her son to school in his pink coat and jeep? You have to have a lot of money to be happy, right? You’re right, who doesn’t want to have a lot of money? But that doesn’t mean happiness always comes with it, you know. Now stop comparing yourself to others. Don’t sacrifice today for the future, live in the moment. I know it’s not realistic at all, you have to earn money, for that you have to work from morning to night. Yes, you have to miss your mom’s hot meals and even your kid’s growing up. Off is getting more and more depressed! Open your eyes and face the facts then… Are you tired of this article right now? Stop reading and go! Do something you like and make you happy. But will you come back later?
Man was created to exist with other people. Imagine waiting alone at the bus stop for ten minutes. Ten minutes feels like half an hour, right? Well, don’t you remember the days when you didn’t understand how those ten minutes passed when you had a friend by your side? We exist by socializing. As they say, “happiness multiplies by sharing.” Do you think there is a dose of this too? When should we draw our boundaries?
Now remember that day when you couldn’t say no to your friend’s request. I’m sure the feelings it reminds you of are not good. Be selfish by the way and learn to say no to things you don’t like. Can’t get along with the other person? Start talking about your problems. Talk about what’s upsetting you, try to find common ground. Isn’t he happy no matter what you do? Don’t look for the problem in yourself and let him catch the bird with his mouth. If you are not doing anything wrong, why should the negativity of the other party upset you? Is your family boring you a lot? Ask why, understand them, and let them understand you too. Now think about it and tell me; For what reasons did your mother argue with you until now? I’m sure most of them are issues that he thinks will eventually be of positive interest to you. Times are changing yes, you can tell him that. But remember that he wants you to be happy and value your opinions, okay?
There was that thing you tried so far, you didn’t imagine the end like that, did you? Maybe it didn’t end the way you wanted, but you didn’t fail, you just succeeded less than you expected. Do you know why? When those who said you failed and those who blamed you hadn’t stood up and taken a single step, you tried. You did something better than doing nothing and you made an effort. Now be proud of yourself and stand up to try again.
You know, that girl next door, Ayşe. Remember when your mother used to compare you to her at every stage of her life? Do you know who you compare yourself to now instead of that girl next door? Yes, you got it right, with your friends on Instagram who share their perfect lives and their amazing bodies. I guess you didn’t think I would skip this topic… I know we are addicted to social media, but I’m glad there is, otherwise how would I send this article to you? But as with everything, there should be a limit on social media, right? Tired of comparing yourself to others? Someone has already done this for you until now. Nothing is as perfect as it seems, remember that. Do you share your fight with your girlfriend on Instagram?
Don’t forget to enjoy the moment in the hustle and bustle of the day. “Not every person can be happy… Because he misses yesterday more than necessary, he thinks about tomorrow more than he deserves. And he lives today unconsciously as he never deserves. Not everyone can be happy. Because he misses more than necessary those who are out of his life. They wait for them to enter your life with more hope than they deserve. And he can never see those next to him.” Said Erich Fromm. Make a note of this, I think, take it out once in a while and read it.
Change your routines. Every day is not the same, why live as if it is? Spend time with yourself, go to that dance class you’ve been dreaming about for years, learn to play a musical instrument, find a way to be useful to others. For example, collect garbage, caress the cat passing by on the street, give food and water to the dogs. Remember that there is someone who loves you, appreciate yourself, love yourself, because you are so precious! Question why something went wrong. Question, question, question… And make yourself happy!