Symbiosis

Symbiosis; The act of two or more people pretending to be one person. It will help us to understand an event that we encounter a lot, especially in our country.

In symbiotic relationships

1 + 1 = 1

When a baby is born, he gets hungry, afraid, happy, etc. Their knowledge of life is not yet sufficient, their values ​​are not yet formed. In this, the mother thinks for him and evaluates for him. Especially in the first months, the mother puts her own feelings aside and feels with the baby’s feelings, gets hungry with it, rejoices with it, etc. In short, mother and baby are like one person. We call this process a Healthy Symbiosis.

But after this stage, there is a change towards an unhealthy process or a healthy process. Because the baby grows, the mother either develops behaviors suitable for this situation or continues the existing behavior. If he continues his existing behaviors, that is, symbiotic behaviors, what was healthy in infancy now creates an unhealthy relationship. We will call this relationship an Unhealthy Symbiotic Relationship.

In order to better understand this relationship, the example of mother and baby is given. In fact, this relationship can be observed in all interpersonal relationships. Teacher-student, spouses, colleagues etc.

Example: In our society, it is possible to talk about a symbiotic relationship and symbiotic invitations in general. One of the most repeated examples is the insistence on eating when visiting guests, ‘eat for God’s sake’, ‘Look, get that too’, ‘You never ate, but at least eat that’. In short, the only message underlying these insistences is that you do not know the hunger of your stomach, you cannot notice it, but you are hungry, you do not know, but I feel your hunger for you.

Another example is to say to a child going to school, ‘turn off your coat, you will get cold’. In short, if you don’t tell me, you won’t notice that I’m cold. In short, symbiosis is a process that lays the foundations of an unhealthy, interdependent relationship in which one has difficulties without the other.

Depending on the size of this type of relationship, it may lead to the formation of a dependent relationship in human relations. This type of relationship, which makes people feel safe when done from time to time, can reach dimensions that cause addiction and the inability of the other to act and develop when repeated frequently.

For this reason, if a person is in a helping relationship with another, this limit should be taken into account and act accordingly. Teachers, educators, people working with children should especially pay attention to this limit.

WHEN DO WE HELP…?

1/ Does anyone who needs help ask for help?

2/ Do I want to help him?

3/ Do I have the capacity to do this?

4/ Am I doing more than 50% of the work?

*If you say YES to these 4 questions, you are helping the other person.

Otherwise, you are preventing the other person from acting independently in a symbiotic helping relationship.

It should not be forgotten that a healthy helping relationship is a helping hand that develops the other person. In addition, it should be noted that it is natural to help the other person, even if he is dependent, in situations arising from the physical or specific disabilities of the moment.

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