Obesity is the story of hurt souls hidden behind layers of fat. Them; Every time they look in the mirror, when they take their first step in a new environment, during shopping, in the family, in the assembly of friends, in short, everywhere they feel defective. He tries to hold on to life and socialize with the feeling of imperfection given by the thick appearance on his body, but (fault chart) Unfortunately, the image of their large bodies beyond the standards is not welcomed by others and is often integrated with their souls. However, they are among the most hurt people in life. (hurt child mode) . They suppressed the unhappiness, stress, anger, and the pain of trauma in their lives and always threw them inside. (emotion suppression scheme) . And in order to get rid of the pain they felt in their souls, they sought something to console themselves. (detached defensive mode).The reason for their overeating is nothing but a small break in happiness given to unhappiness and lack of love.
Just as a baby needs his needs to be met peacefully in the tender arms of his mother whenever he feels nervous, he too throws himself into the arms of food to comfort himself. (oral obsession, freud- detached defensive mode).Like this c momentarily gets rid of the feelings that bore the moment. However, when the little pleasure of food is over, it turns into a cinderella like in fairy tales. At that moment, he confronts all the facts that he has escaped, the weight he has gained starts to grow in his eyes, and the voice of his self-punishing conscience accompanies him at that moment. “Uff, I wasn’t going to eat that last meal, I’m not going to eat anything tomorrow!” (punitive parent mode) I don’t know how many times he made the decision to go on a diet after this voice. However, he failed. Diet and sports are things that force the body, and for this, it needs to get out of the comfort zone. (inadequate self-control scheme)The thought that no one can love me, with the addition of the thoughts of imperfection caused by the weight, on the past family life that makes him feel unloved in life, is deeply ingrained in his mind. (emotional deprivation scheme) . Maybe he has had painful experiences in which his faults were brutally reprimanded, ridiculed or even insulted. As a result of these experiences, he may have thought that everyone saw him as flawed and made fun of him ( imperfection schema and skepticism schema schema origin) . He may have isolated himself from all people, believing that he will not be loved by anyone with his intense feelings of imperfection. (social isolation scheme- social withdrawal mode).When he binges to ease the feelings in his soul after isolating himself (detached avant-garde mode) ; Unfortunately, the weight placed on their feet has increased even more. The enlargement of the body has dragged him further into a dead end. All the troubles that he thinks he has overcome by eating are slapped in the face every time he stands in front of him and looks in the mirror. The feeling of lovelessness that he felt most in his childhood has been replaced by the feeling of unlovedness this time. He could not find an environment where he felt he belonged, believing that no one else could love his appearance, even though he himself did not like it. (fault scheme, social isolation, scheme submission)The path he once chose and habituated to preserve his spiritual integrity. (detached avungan-detached sainfoin mod) has expired. Now she needs to fearlessly face her suppressed and ignored emotions, to live and express her emotions in a healthy way. As he gets rid of his emotional burdens, both his soul and feet will find peace. (switch to healthy adult mode)
In this issue, I would like to talk to you about the movie My Fat Darling. Hanna has a big loving heart that draws attention with her warm voice; she is a fat, clumsy and relatively ugly girl. Her biggest dream is to become a famous singer, but her biggest obstacle is her appearance. (defect chart ). In a society that thinks that beauty beyond ideals cannot be on stage, she is just a voice left behind the scenes. (high standards of society) . Her impressive voice has made the attractive body Amy a popular artist in Korea, and Hanna also works on a phone sex app, using her voice to earn enough money to meet the needs of her father who is in a mental hospital. Hanna only worked in jobs where her voice was heard and her body was well hidden. (defective schema- schema avoidance). Hanna is madly in love with Amy’s producer and girlfriend, Sang-Jun. Even though Sang-Jun doesn’t know it, Hanna sings all her songs out of love for him. Hanna’s interest in Sang put Amy in a fit of jealousy when Sang hugs Hanna after the concert, and this is the trigger for all the events that will happen.
When Hanna goes to her friend and enthusiastically talks about her feelings for Sang and her hug after the concert, her response is also hurtful.“ There are 3 types of women for men; beautiful ones are treasures. We the average are gifts, you’re a waste now, you know?” (Hanna’s imperfection scheme is triggered) Meanwhile, Hanna wants to eat to ease her hurt. ( detached avant-garde mode)
On Sang’s birthday, Amy sends Hanna a red dress on Sang’s behalf that will make her lose weight and make her look flawed. And she wears the same dress herself. She will teach Sang and Hanna a lesson. Although Amy’s behavior will hurt herself the most, she still can’t stop herself ( The overcompensation of the imperfection scheme is trying to point out someone else’s flaws). Realizing the situation, Hanna leaves the birthday party crying. This annoyed Sang quite a bit, and she tells Amy: “Very well.
you’re funny, how stupid can you get? I will never understand. I want to live with style. But you are not helping. This is a problem for me. Do you miss the days when you were a backup dancer? Do you think I like him? You don’t have to be reminded of who you are. Leave him alone. You should be grateful for coming to us. He is talented, but ugly and fat. You’re untalented, but you’re so beautiful and sexy. Everything is fine for you. He lives for you. Listen, we’re just using it. Did you understand ? Be kind to her. If he walks away, it’s all over,” she says. (Sang’s schematics causing him to use Hanna for style;
status seeking schema submission, skepticism schema overcompensation – manipulative mode). Hearing all this, Hanna goes home crying. This is her second traumatic love experience. The first time she fell in love with someone who sold diet pills. After she sold those diet pills, she wished Hanna well and walked out of her life. She felt used by this traumatic love pain ( imperfection, emotional deprivation, and the pain of abandonment combined)He drank a lot of diet pills without eating anything and ended up in the hospital. (punitive parent mode) “I learned that night that love and diet are not for me,” he said. But since love is not a planned action, his heart has started beating for someone again. Hearing this whole conversation, Hanna’s world is devastated again. She had fallen in love, believed, and trusted someone who would have made her feel flawed, but her feelings had been used, she. (Hanna, we can explain her falling in love with people who make her feel flawed with Schema chemistry. ) And as if all this were not enough, his ugliness and weight, all his flaws, came out of the mouth of the person he fell in love with. She was a young girl and she needed to feel valued like everyone else. When her last hope was gone, Hanna really wanted to leave, not from behind the scenes, but from the world! He turned on the gas, closed the windows, and was ready for death. ( punishing parent mode). Until the phone rings. The caller is the esthetician client in the sex app on the phone. When you talk to him, he suddenly wants to hold on to life again. And then he breathes next to her. When the doctor said that the risk of death was high, Hanna said, “I died yesterday. My life is in your hands. You can end it or you can save it” and the difficult surgery begins. Hanna, what makes you think about committing suicide and then undergoing surgery with a high risk of death? All the emotional troubles she has experienced, her hunger for love, her flaws being hit in her face, her knowing that she cannot be a woman who falls in love with this body, and the use of her own innocent feelings have caused her to undergo this great change in her life. She believed that she could overcome all the pain she experienced only with an ideal self. And she went into major surgery, she. A perfect and natural beauty has emerged, albeit artificially, she has achieved what she wanted. She was renewed as if she was purified from all her flaws. (defect scheme overcompensation, high standards scheme.)
Now, after a year of change, Hanna has turned into someone who falls in love with her. Although she did the same movements, Hanna, who had been rude before, has now taken on a great grace. She is someone no one will recognize anymore. It’s time to let go of all the pain of the past. She, who once made fun of her flaws, will go to her great love who says she is using it. Her physical change made her feel very good spiritually and she has become Jenny now. She is an undeniably flawless beauty. But things get tougher when she has to hide her true self from Sang, as Amy recognizes Hanna’s voice and struggles to uncover the truth. Her efforts to hide herself have caused her to lose the people she loves, one by one. In this process, Hanna managed to make Sang fall in love with her and went a long way in becoming an artist. Although Sang’s interest in him makes her happy, she knows very well that she will not be able to get close. Because every part of his body is made of silicone and it can appear as soon as he touches it. May be damaged etc. that is, Hanna’s feelings of imperfection did not end even when she was in an ideal self and got everything she wanted. (Defect Chart).
In the process, Sang realizes that Hanna’s actions are hers. The next day is the big day. There is a concert. Hanna achieved her dreams as Jenny. A large concert was held in front of large audiences. She is not happy at all, while she is expected to fly out of happiness. The wounds inflicted by her ideal self harm Hanna’s soul and build thick walls between her and all her loved ones. The responsibility of being Jenny is now ending Hanna. She doesn’t even want to go on stage, she has dreamed of for years. With Sang’s persuasion, she takes the stage. After she became Jenny, her father, whom she could not even go to, is there. The stage darkens and the audience eagerly awaits him. The concert begins, but Jenny enters the stage, languid and sad. As her father comes running to the front of the stage and is being taken away by the staff, Jenny can’t stand it anymore and says, “Stop! I can not do this. I really can’t. Sorry . I am really sorry. I’m not Jenny. I am Hanna. Kang Hanna. I was an ugly, fat girl. So I’d hide in the back and sing for someone else. Then I had plastic surgery. I’m all over the place. I’m beautiful now. I can sing. I fell in love. I was very happy to be Jenny. But I’m sorry. I ruined everything. I abandoned my friends, my father, and myself. I don’t know who I am anymore. I can’t remember how I look, I can’t. I miss you, Hanna.” Just then, Sang performs an old video of Hanna singing. Everyone is surprised. Jenny said, “This is who I am. Says Kang Hanna. (Jenny’s body is fused with Hanna’s spirit.) The audience cries and the whole scene stands up with the words it doesn’t matter. In Hanna’s last words, “Jenny is not here.
But if you want to listen to the song of a fat and ugly girl, please say once and for all and start crying. The following headlines were written in all newspapers and magazines. “Shocking confession, Jenny was fake, so Jenny disappeared. Forever. But Hanna succeeded.” (Hanna won the love of everyone with her hurt child mode, revealing her feelings without suppressing or hiding them.)
Due to Sang’s growing interest in Hanna, he confessed in a conversation with his brother that he liked Hanna’s innocence. Sang said that he liked Hanna’s innocence, not her looks.( However, the old Hanna’s being fat and ugly made her see her as flawed and used it. She is now in love with him. Same soul, two different bodies, so why? Society’s expectation of handsome boys and beautiful girls may have masked Sang’s interest in Hanna. Thus, he became close to someone like Amy, who did not fit him spiritually. Perfectly beautiful maybe hides her own internal flaws. Combined with status seeking, the desire for the perfect lover may have increased.)
Imperfections do not live in essence, but in thought. I wish you to be with people who can love you along with your flaws…