strong relationship house

‘Strong Relationship House Theory, which was put forward by John and Julie Gottman as a result of many years of research, was prepared on the basis of happy partnerships. While Confidence and Commitment form the pillars of the house in this theory; starting from the most basic step, it is aimed to inform and help couples about their strengths, areas that they need to support and keep up to date over time.’

Creating Love Maps: It is the foundation of the house. Partners have knowledge about each other’s psychological world. It is created by the couple getting to know each other and updating this information over time.

Sharing Interest and Likes: It is the antidote to humiliation. It includes creating a culture of appreciation, appreciation, compassion and respect and sharing it with the partner. The quality of romance and sexuality is closely related to this field.

Orientation towards each other: They are attempts to establish an emotional bond between partners. Assuming that there is an emotional bank account in this area, it is assumed that the partners invest in this account. Basic process; Developing awareness of initiatives that the partner is trying to connect with and expressing emotional needs, and discovering how to respond to these initiatives with orientation.

Positive Perspective: It consists of the first 3 stages. If the couple knows each other well, if there is interest and appreciation, and if the partners turn to each other, there is a conversation between them and a positive perspective is fed. The higher the positive outlook, the more likely partners are to evaluate each other’s behavior and attitudes positively first.

Managing Conflict: There are 2 types of conflict; 1.Type; 2.Type of couple problems, which are solvable; unsolvable, recurring (chaotic) problems. 69% of problems between couples consist of unresolved issues. In type 1 conflicts, we use 4 parts of effective problem resolution: soft start, accepting the impact, repairing, calming and reconciling. In type 2 conflicts; It is essential for the couple to establish a dialogue process to avoid bottlenecks. At this point, it is very important to gain effective conflict management skills.

Realizing Dreams and Desires for Life: In strong relationships, partners know each other’s dreams and pasts well and strive for them. Partners’ dreams may not always be so clear. Mentioning memories, if not dreams, carries clues that will make partners happy. It’s about helping the person realize their partner’s important life dreams.

Generating Common Meaning: It is the roof of the house. It is a space where partners have a shared meaning in their lives, consciously created or spontaneously created. The couple acting together is to create a shared system of meaning in terms of their time, their resources, their stories, their culture, the things and events they decide to have in their lives. (How many partners? How many ‘we’s? Do they have rituals?)

Confidence: ‘I am a priority for my partner.’ ‘My partner watches over me, is always by my side.’ It’s about having an opinion. It is one of the pillars of the house of strong relationship.

Loyalty: It is believing that one’s relationship is a long journey, thinking that it will last a lifetime in good times and bad, and acting accordingly. It is the state of emphasizing the positive features of the partner, being pleased with having him, being grateful for the presence of his partner. Strong relationship is the other pillar of the house. (The threat of divorce threatens commitment.)

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