Stop When Children Say Anger

There are 8 different basic emotions that people experience basically. Happiness, sadness, fear, surprise, anger, interest, disgust, shame. Experiencing these basic emotions is very natural for every human being. No one wants to experience negative emotions, especially when they feel anger, because parents feel helpless and do not know what to do, they also respond to their children with anger when their children are angry. The important point here is that anger is a normal emotion, just like any other emotion. There are some developmental periods, for example, at the age of 2, it is normal for children to experience anger during this period when they realize that their body is another body than their mother’s and their own self begins to settle in.

So, in which situations does the child feel anger?

  • If children do not have adequate social environments, they will not feel accomplished.

  • When children who do not learn boundaries in families where the child’s wishes are made, when they are blocked in social environments

  • In the sense of helplessness that comes with failure

  • In situations where he thinks he is unloved

  • If he thinks his sibling and parents don’t want him anymore

  • If you are experiencing peer bullying

  • If the family’s expectations are higher than the child’s

  • If the child does not communicate with his family, except to warn and tell expectations, but constantly criticized by his family

  • If parents cannot control their own anger

  • Children exposed to too much screen

  • The way parents love can sometimes be violent, in this case if the child has learned love equals violence

Anger will arise. As it can be understood from these items, anger is only a result, and in therapy, we search for the reasons behind this anger and then try to eliminate the problem areas for the child.

What should be done during and after the anger of children?

  • It will be insufficient to explain to children in times of anger because they will not listen.

  • It is tried to be understood with clearer questions such as what he would like to happen after the anger has passed or what the anger bubble would have gone.

  • Playing with emotions with children and letting them recognize their emotions helps them calm down.

  • Parents’ learning about their own anger control contributes to being a role model for children.

  • Parents can apply the 3d rule. First, stopping and calming down in their own anger moments, then questioning what makes them angry at that moment, and then thinking about what they would see if they watched their families from the outside helps them understand things better.

  • Explaining the requests in a precise and clear language in advance

  • Identifying particularly irritating moments and taking precautionary measures

  • Thinking about what children’s emotional needs might be

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