Jealousy can be termed as not being able to bear the sharing of the loved one with someone else. In families with two or more children, sibling jealousy can be a situation that families complain about. Basically jealousy; It is a natural and normal emotion like anger, sadness, happiness. The child, who learns that a new person is coming to the house, may worry that he will lose his parents’ love, attention and time. Especially the mother is the most basic asset that meets the needs of the child in his life. It is not the sibling that the child is jealous of, but the parent’s love and attention.
When considering giving birth to a second or third child, parents should make sure that they and their children are ready for this situation. The fact that the child says I want a sibling does not mean that he is ready for a sibling. The child cannot fully understand the concept of sibling and actually wants a playmate there; not someone to share a parent’s care and love with. On the other hand, it should be kept in mind that the wishes and desires of the child are variable.
If the child is a boy, he may think that he will be loved more because the new girl is a baby girl. If the second child is also a boy, he cannot understand why a new boy is needed when he has it, and it causes confusion. When the first sibling arrives, the child can take care and show affection. He may even try to kiss, love, and embrace all the time. This may be the unexpressed, inward form of jealousy. He can do this in order not to lose the love of his parents, so that his mother does not get away from him.
Changes in the home after the birth and arrival of the new sibling can cause the child to have adjustment problems. If the child feels lonely, excluded, and deprived of love, he may begin to show infantile behaviors to get back what he has lost. In a toilet-trained child, wanting to tie a diaper, turning to a bottle, wanting to suck the mother, talking like a baby, and aggressive behaviors can be seen.
The first child’s jealousy of the new baby is a natural feeling that can be at a certain level in every family, and the older child needs to learn to cope with this feeling. It’s okay as long as it doesn’t turn into harming your brother. If a sibling is constantly hurting the other, verbally insulting and using bad words, showing babyish behavior, seeing their sibling as an enemy, and a long-term condition, you may need to seek help from a specialist.