Sibling Jealousy

When the development of the individual is considered, jealousy is one of the most basic and difficult emotions to deal with, regardless of age.
Sibling jealousy is common in every family with more than one child, and it’s quite normal. Not every child wants to share their parents’ attention, love and time with someone else. It is not at all strange that there is jealousy between siblings, provided that it is not excessive. The most common type of jealousy is the older child’s jealousy of the next sibling. The first child is the center of attention and attention of the family. The mother is the child’s world, her most precious asset. The fear of losing the mother’s love for the child is an unbearable feeling and it is difficult to accept it.

Due to the dependence of the infant on the mother, the individual time devoted to the older child necessarily decreases. The older child sometimes thinks that he is not loved and neglected. This causes feelings such as anger, resentment and resentment towards the baby and the parent. The older child feels insecure, unsupported, and abandoned. In order to regain what they have lost, the older child begins to become a baby. He wants his sibling to wear a diaper, he wants to use a bottle, he wants to suckle his mother, he tries to get the love and attention that was shown to him in the past with baby talk. At the same time, negative behaviors such as maladaptive and combative behaviors, outbursts of anger, and not obeying the rules may occur. Some children, on the other hand, do not express their feelings of jealousy with such actions. However, they stop eating and drinking, withdraw into themselves, withdraw to a corner of the house, finger sucking behavior can be seen.

How We Can Help the Child

  • Do not make comparisons between siblings. Increasing rivalry between siblings should be avoided.

  • Make him feel special and unique.

  • Instead of trying to remove the jealousy of the child and make his sibling love, you should ensure that he can express his negative feelings.

  • Help him express his hostile feelings in symbolic or creative ways.

  • Avoid saying that he has to love his brother

  • Maturity should not be expected over its age

  • Starting school should not be just before birth. The child may feel alienated from home with the arrival of the baby.

  • There is no need to treat children equally. Each should be treated individually, in accordance with their own needs and personality traits. A sense of justice rather than a sense of equality should be developed.

Sibling jealousy is a natural emotion, provided that it is not overdose. However, if it is excessive, you can get professional support from experts.

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