Shy Boy

Why are children embarrassed?

At the root of the feeling of shame is the behavior of hiding in the face of danger. Shyness begins between the ages of 6 months and 1 year when the baby burying his face in his mother’s chest when he sees a stranger. While most babies feel safe and begin to examine the stranger after a while, some of them continue to be afraid, restless and hiding.

Shyness is most intense between the ages of 3-6. These are the ages when the child realizes that he/she starts to individualize and the opinions of others about himself/herself become important. The child is afraid of falling into an unpopular situation in front of others, he is ashamed. These are age-specific natural reactions.

Are parents a factor in a child’s shyness?

There are many reasons for the formation of shyness, such as genetic predisposition, personality structure, parental attitudes, inadequacy of social life. As the child gets older, the fear of strangers and being restless usually decreases and disappears in the process. In some children, this state of restlessness and fear continues for life. Studies show that the physiological signal systems of children who continue to be in a state of restlessness and fear are more easily activated and these people are more anxious and have a higher perception of danger throughout their lives.

Often, children with a low distress signal have parents with a low distress threshold, just like them. These parents worry excessively about their children. This is how a tendency to shame develops.

Shyness emerges as a common behavior because a child who grows up in a family environment where the child cannot express his/her opinion, is silenced, has no right to object, and cannot develop a sense of trust in a family environment where an extremely harsh atmosphere prevails. Similarly, shyness is seen in children who are overprotected, as a result of not developing their ability to act independently and to have a comfortable relationship with others by separating from their parents. Apart from this, shyness is a frequently encountered situation in children who are not introduced to social environments and who do not have the opportunity to meet and meet new people.

From which gestures can you tell that the child is shy?

Shyness is more easily observed in children than adults. When shy children see a stranger, they cover their faces, hide in their mothers’ laps or backs, play with their clothes or put their hands to their mouths. They have difficulty participating in social activities and interacting with their peers. They do not like innovations and changes in their routines. They avoid performing in front of others.

What should parents do so that the child is not shy?

  • Give him the opportunity to adapt to new environments.

  • Be careful not to be overbearing when entering an environment that she perceives as threatening.

  • Draw attention to the positive characteristics of the child and the environment.

  • Review your own social relationships and roles.

  • Avoid attitudes such as criticizing, blaming, mocking because of shyness.

  • Don’t talk about shyness in front of others.

  • Encourage them to be in different social and cultural environments, to recognize and develop their talents.

  • Try to acquire activities and skills that will increase his self-confidence.

  • Don’t force anything.

  • Encourage it.

  • Avoid overprotective or oppressive attitudes.

  • Avoid behaviors such as doing things for him or speaking for him.

  • Share your own similar experiences and experiences with your child.

How does being shy negatively affect your future life? If he cannot overcome his shyness at a young age, will it be permanent in the future?

Being shy negatively affects one’s adaptation to social life, communication and relationships with other people, education life, school success, and business life. Children who show signs of shyness in the pre-school period receive support in order to develop their self-confidence and social skills, and they become more socially compatible individuals in their adult lives. It is seen that children who do not receive support due to the difficulties they experience continue to be shy in their adult lives, however, they are individuals who are not open to innovations and changes, and who are indecisive in the face of their decisions.

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