‘Shhh…’ Incest

INCEST

“Shhh!…”

Silent screams and cries that emerged with the brutality behind closed doors… It is the greatest trauma that brings together the most cruel, treacherous emotional, physical and sexual abuse experienced by the closest of children. It is the worst form of rape. Because the rapist is their closest. Sometimes mother, father, sometimes grandfather, uncle. Sometimes, the new member of the family, stepmother, father… The person they trust the most has made them experience the greatest betrayal in the place where they feel safest. The child could not understand that he was watched by his rapist in the bathroom, while he was changing in his room, that he was the target of perverted conversations, that he was a spectator to sexual scenes, or that he was touching non-innocent touches. Maybe she thought she was loved by the attention given to her. She doesn’t know the difference between a loving touch and a pleasurable touch. They’re called children. But when every behavior that extends to sexuality inhibits her innocence, what can we call it other than incest?

The injured child experienced the bottom of the pain when dirty familiar hands wrapped around his small body and satisfied his sexual desires. Every time those filthy hands touched him, the pain and disappearances he felt were dragging him into pessimism. (pessimism chart)maybe their experience made them feel dirty (Defect Chart) . Maybe that’s when the obsession with cleanliness and meticulousness started. As if purifying his body and soul from all filth… (The need for justice of children who were raped by their closest relatives has been destroyed. With the thought of what other people would do if their closest relatives did this to them. skepticism scheme while active; the desire to cleanse his body of all impurities perishability chart.effected)

The injured child wants to tell what he has been through, to vomit what’s inside, to get rid of this burden, even if it is a little bit, but his voice was cut off by his rapist, ‘Don’t tell anyone! If you tell…’ he was left to his fate with the threat. Maybe because he couldn’t tell anyone what he was going through, he only expressed his disgust with vomiting, which is a real bodily reaction. (child abused and threatened Somatic symptoms as a result of schema submission of the Emotion Suppression and Imperfection Scheme lives). It is not only the body that is stolen, but also the innocence of the child. Nothing will ever be the same again for him. He is different from other children, he is flawed. (The stolen child’s soul and body made him feel more incomplete than other children. of the flaw scheme Perhaps life has taught them that no one can truly love disinterestedly. (the need for pure and clean love is not met emotional deprivation schema was created). His little body experiences a helpless fear. Under the weight of all the burdens placed on his shoulders, his soul has aged to a crushing bruise. They became men and women before they even had a chance to mourn their childhood. (The painful experience they experience causes them to experience intense depression at the time of trauma. Hurt/injured child mod : surrender to active schemes)

The child, who is afraid of the threats of his rapist on the one hand, and the black mark on his forehead being learned by everyone and people accuse him and the breakup of his family on the other, experiences intense guilt. punishment scheme).No matter how bad the family life is, the dependence of these children on the family is high ( dependency scheme). Although the child forced into incest can see the bottom of his depression, he cannot tell anyone for such reasons. No one understands what they are going through. The child can neither seek help nor prevent rape. He helplessly surrenders to the wishes of his rapist. Submission Chart/ Delivery) Sometimes rape does not go unnoticed. The people of the house see, they keep silent because they do not want the family order to be disturbed. Right there, the trauma of the child increases exponentially. Because there is not even an imaginary savior left. One rapes and the other condones, in fact, both are rapists of the child. (As a result of not meeting the child’s need for emotional support and protection, D to the Applicable Withdrawal Scheme when surrendering; knowing there will be no savior Abandonment Chartand The Pessimism ChartIt increases its effect exponentially.)

The minds of some incest victims could not accept what they went through, and with the growth of the emotional vacuum in the painful traumatic experience, the extreme point of the detached sheltered mode went into dissociation, that is, plural personality, and the integrity of identity was shattered. Some people’s minds have buried everything that happened too deep and have lost their memory. (Detached Protective Mod)

While the anger of the child who is the victim of incest towards the rapist turns into a desire to punish him, most of the time his punishing side turns to himself. She can’t stand the pain she’s going through and wants to end her life. ( Punishing Parent Mode)

The leading roles are played by Mert Fırat, Nergis Öztürk and Zeynep Oral; directed by İlksen Basarir; is a 2010 production that bravely reveals the fact of incest, which is the bleeding wound of our country. From the movie Carousel I want to present a snippet. The story of the film, which is about a father forcing his two children to incest at different times, starts in the town and extends to Istanbul.

The incest victim Sevgi relates her experiences while reading a book to her paralyzed grandmother with these words:

“The girl was looking at him with pleading eyes every time, but the man’s hands wouldn’t stop. The girl wanted to get away, but it wasn’t working. She couldn’t understand what she had done to deserve this. What he saw was his father’s face. But it couldn’t be his father who did this to him. Don’t do it, I beg you, I’m crying because my mother will kill me if she comes, but she didn’t listen. He said we will love each other more, I was afraid. I said it hurts but he didn’t hear. I hate it now. I don’t want to sleep at night. I don’t want to eat. I wish I didn’t know. I can not stand. I can’t look at my mother’s face. It seems like everyone knows this. But it’s not my fault. I swear I didn’t do anything. I want to go, I want to go from here. What should I do, I wish someone would say something”

“The girl was looking at him with pleading eyes every time, but the man’s hands wouldn’t stop. The girl wanted to get rid of it, but it wasn’t working.”( Submission Chart) ; “The girl couldn’t understand what she had done to deserve this. What he saw was his father’s face. But it couldn’t be her father who did this to her. ” The fact that Sevgi has been subjected to such pain by her father has deeply shaken her need for justice and makes her question why she deserves it. ( Punitive Scheme ) ; not wanting to sleep at night, not wanting to eat surrendered to the pain of the hurt child mode are symptoms of depression. “ I can not stand…”the belief that he can’t stand what he’s going through; (See the instability chart ); “I can’t look at my mother’s face.” (as a result of the shame and guilt she experienced) Imperfectionand punitiveness scheme); “ it feels like everybody knows” . ( Skepticism Chart ); “ I wish someone would say something”(having no one to turn to for emotional support Emotional deprivation schemashows that he feels intensely)

Briefly, incest; it is the looting of a child’s joy, hope, innocence, confidence, that is, all his treasures, and leaving a hollow, fearful and desperation-laden spirit in its place.

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