Sex therapy and the origins of sexual problems

Experts now agree that the vast majority of sexual disorders are caused by psychic causes, or at least have psychic components, despite obvious organic problems. And these reasons are very diverse.

Bodily Causes

Men mostly experience a decrease in the intensity of sexual need in their 30s and in sexual performance by the age of 50 at the latest. These are completely normal processes caused by different factors (such as environmental conditions, psychic characteristics, gene processes, bodily defects), but these conditions can also occur at a fairly early age. Due to possible organic causes, a diagnosis and medical explanation by physicians in urology and similarly andrology is recommended as a first step in almost all cases. However, if no explanation can be obtained about the ailments in this context, sexual counseling or sexual therapy should be sought as soon as possible.

Similarly, only sexual therapy can support you and relieve your symptoms, as the problem becomes more severe and increases day by day in cases that are purely psychological.

Apart from pain during sex or other obvious organic symptoms, it is relatively rare for women to have bodily causes for sexual disorders and disorders, and for this reason, sexual therapy and similar psychotherapy should generally be sought.

Spiritual Reasons

Experts now agree that the vast majority of sexual disorders are caused by psychic causes, or at least have psychic components, despite obvious organic problems. And these reasons are very diverse: they often manifest as feeling pressured to perform (performance fear/anxiety) or by certain expectations or being forced to conform to customs and rules. Over time, most people forget to listen to their own wants and desires or take them seriously enough. In particular, men feel the tormenting and tedious compulsion that everything must go “just fine” in bed: In this way, they expect to get more performance from themselves by using drugs such as Viagra, Levitra or Cialis that provide erection (hardening) consecutively at those under 45 years old. After using these drugs for a few years, they often become psychologically dependent and realize that they have become a drug addict.

Sexual problems in women are usually in the form of general sexual aversion, vaginismus, or inability to orgasm or difficulty having an orgasm, and they often suffer for years and suffer from these disorders, often because they do not pay due attention to their own problems or have imposed restrictions and prohibitions on bringing their problems to professional counseling professionals. they try to fold.

Problems in terms of partner

When disagreements arise with the partner, these disagreements eventually spill over into the sexual life between the couples. There should be no violent conflicts and unresolved problems between the spouses, and also that there should be no difference in understanding (frequency, variety, desires and needs) of co-existing sexuality, otherwise this may lead to sexual problems for one or both partners. Similarly, if the spouses talk little or not at all about sex and sex, this can cause the spouses to experience sexual problems. At this point, sexual therapy and marriage therapy should be taken and these problems should be overcome as soon as possible.

How to start sexual therapy?

First of all, a preliminary interview is made about what type of sexual disorder is in question and how long this situation has lasted. However, the following should be noted: The sooner you consider the issue of seeking professional help, the more successful the therapy will be. In the interview, the specialist therapist who is authorized to undertake this task and who is adequately trained should be able to explain to the client whether the relevant sexual disorder can really be appropriately treated through sexual therapy.

If sexual disorders are based on psychic causes (early childhood disorders and pressures, neuroses, developmental arrest and the like), it is much more rational and beneficial to initiate a successful psychotherapy and in parallel to treat sexual dysfunctions. The method used here is important in two ways, but first of all, it is very important to choose the “appropriate and correct” therapist. In addition, when it comes to trauma, it is very important to choose a therapist who has experience in providing trauma therapy. In cases of personality disorder or obsession-like disorders, a psychotherapy is recommended first and then sexual therapy is started. In such cases, the therapy should not be started with their spouses (partners), but first of all alone and only by considering their own personal problems. In this case, of course, what will be applied is no longer a sexual therapy or similarly marriage therapy, here applications in the form of individual psychotherapy are used. For a successful sexual therapy, organic causes must be completely eliminated. This situation should first be determined by consulting the physician who treated the client.

In urology, sexual problems are often considered as “Dysfunction”. Urologists or gynecologists are particularly specialized in surgery and drug therapy and hormone therapy (eg prostate surgery, penile erectile dysfunction treatment (“Viagra, Levitra, Cialis”), testosterone therapy). In the scope described here, sexual therapy is rarely or almost never provided by urologists and gynecologists (except for urologists and gynecologists who have received training in sexual therapy).

Sexual Trauma and Its Importance

In case of sexual violence, it is always very difficult to experience sexuality again with pleasure and pleasure. Fear of re-injury and hurt, or even just the fear of remembering previous injuries and hurts, can lead to withdrawal from sexuality, giving up or making sexuality impossible and removing it from your life in some way. Even in the most private moments of intimacy, erection and pleasure, these trauma fragments that remain in the mind can reappear together. It is not possible for the partner who does not know and recognize this trauma to understand the fearful and reactionary reactions of the traumatized partner. Before the old wounds are fully healed, a new injury and hurt event that may occur between the spouses can cause severe mental injuries (secondary traumas). The body, which is the scene of sexual violence and abuse in the past, will usually not accept sexuality. Mechanisms such as closing oneself to the outside world, separating one’s emotions from the body (I’m dead, I don’t feel anything, my own self is no longer in my body… = Disintegration Phenomenon, Identity Disintegration, Identity Disintegration) which were rightfully developed in the face of the previous event, can now re-establish a sincere and special relationship with the person you love. When you want to live, it will appear as an obstacle to your eyebrows.

Post-traumatic sex therapy means taking care of old wounds to rediscover your body for yourself and loving your body again with scars and regaining your own sex life without abuse and violence.

Note: If you are experiencing sexual problems, the first place you will apply should be a Urology Specialist or Gynecology Specialist (Specialist Physician). It is necessary to distinguish whether the problem is biological or psychological. It deals with the psychological perspective of sexual disorders that I mentioned in my article above. If, as a result of all the triggers and researches your specialist will do, if there is no physical, biological, that is, organic finding, then you should get psychotherapeutic support.

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Abdullah OZER

Social Worker, Scientist (Clinical Psychology)

Schools of Psychotherapy that he has been trained in:

  • Focusing (DFI)
  • Positive Psychotherapy (WAPP)
  • Psychodynamic Psychotherapy (CSU)
  • Ego State Therapy (EST-DE/ESTI)
  • Ericksonian Psychotherapy (MEG-DE)
  • Logotherapy and Existential Analysis (VFI-Wien)

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