One of the most discussed issues in long-term relationships is the quality of sexual life. No matter how much time passes in the relationship, it should not be forgotten that it is very important for couples to include sexuality in their lives in every period of the relationship. Unfortunately, many couples consider it natural for sexuality to lose its old fire in long-term relationships. However, before we take this for granted, it is an important necessity not to consider the loss of a healthy sexual life as natural and to question the reasons, no matter how long the relationship lasts.
At this stage, it is very important to first review the external factors that may cause reluctance in you. It is useful to remember that a stressful work life or various sources of stress can cause you to lose desire. It is very important that you know that physical, psychological and social factors are active on the ground where sexual desire occurs, and that you evaluate the factors underlying your sexual reluctance in the light of this trivet.
Lifestyle factors such as hormonal deficiencies, health problems, drugs used, unhealthy diet / a sedentary life, smoking, excessive alcohol and the damage caused by intense stress on the body are among the factors that negatively affect sexual life. According to recent studies, it has been determined that people who are not satisfied with personal history and achievements, do not trust their spouses, experience constant conflicts in the relationship, and are under intense work and financial stress may experience a decrease in sexual desire in long-term relationships. In social terms, it is another known fact that adapting to a new relationship pattern and sexual life after childbirth and health problems of family members can negatively affect arousal and orgasm processes.
Apart from all these, if you only think about your physical pleasure, it is inevitable that your spouse will move away from you.
Your sexual routine with your spouse/partner is of great importance in this sense. Many problems such as not seeking novelty in sexuality, following a certain monotony, accepting sexuality with the understanding of “it’s over”, not looking for quality in sexuality affect sexuality.
Unfortunately, some couples do not pay attention to the emotional intimacy part of sex. However, a study of approximately 1,200 couples showed that not only sexual intercourse but also kissing, hugging and caress are necessary for relationship quality and happiness. In addition to all these factors, turning sexuality from being a mutual pleasure tool into a task over time is another factor that makes sex unpleasant in long-term relationships. In addition, the fact that these problems are not talked about between partners makes things more difficult. Sometimes just raising these issues can rekindle a couple’s sexuality.
So what needs to be done?
First of all, do not immediately attribute reluctance to psychological factors. Sexuality is a barometer of overall body health. In ongoing problems, you should definitely consider organic factors and your lifestyle.
Don’t be afraid to talk to your spouse. It is very important that you say what you feel, find out what your partner thinks, communicate, and seek solutions.
Regulate your frequency of sexual intercourse. Remember that in sex, quality is important, not numbers.
Prepare for sex that will prepare you both mentally and spiritually. You can create golden nights with a romantic dinner and many other preparations.
Increase the rewards of sex: For you, sex can mean relief from stress, a physical need, or feeling close with your partner. Regardless, your sex life will be revived if you are both happy when sex ends.
Don’t see sex as a race. It is more correct to aim for a sexuality that will satisfy the wishes and feelings of your partner with your own desires and feelings.
Apart from all these, getting support from an expert will also be an effective support for solving problems. I wish you healthy days…