Sex education of the child

The development of the child is holistic. While focusing on what needs to be done in the areas of physical, emotional, social, cognitive and sexual development, it confuses issues related to sexual education with sex education and this issue is constantly ignored. While the child’s curiosity can be easily satisfied with a simple explanation to the questions asked by the child, the parents persistently avoid this, and this causes the child to acquire false information and fear in some matters later on.

There has been constant discussion about who should give sexual education to children. Sex education should first be started in the family and should be reinforced by continuing at school. The sensitivity of the family on sexual education has a very positive effect on the sexual development of the child. The child, who is satisfied with the sexual education given to the girl by the mother and the father to the boy, will not have to learn the question from other sources falsely.

Sex education covers a period from birth to adolescence. There is no age limit to start sexual education. Sex education should be given more importance as the child begins to wonder about certain issues.

Often the first question children ask is “why am I a boy, why do girls have no penis, how was I born”. If the family’s answers are evasive, if the parents’ voices tremble and get excited while answering this question, if the child is angry and said that these are shameful things, the child may not ask any more questions. He will try to learn the answer to this question from his friends, broadcasts or television, from his elder sisters and brothers. The information he has learned from others may be incomplete, inaccurate, or out of date and may not satisfy him sufficiently. Conscious parents can explain to their child what they want to learn sufficiently and clearly. The child, who is satisfied with what he wants to learn, will not dwell much on this subject again.

If the child is given a good education on sexual education in the pre-school period, he will spend the primary school period more calmly. But he still secretly wonders about some issues. There is no need to give detailed information about sexual education. Just because the child asked a question, it is a wrong approach to transfer all the information to him and prevent him from asking questions again. There should be a difference in detail given by age period. While the stories told in the younger age period are simple, more details can be entered as the age gets older.

Primary school children know the difference between genders. They talk about sexual matters in friend groups with people of their own gender. While they secretly talk about these issues, they can mix each other’s genitals. Parents who encounter such a situation should talk to the child in a comforting way without getting angry. An approach like, “I guess you’ve been wondering about each other’s genitals, wondering if your friend’s genitals are similar to yours,” is correct. Thus, the child will feel that what he did is wrong and nothing to be ashamed of. In addition, primary school children love the sexual topics that older children tell.

Children aged 7-11 try to satisfy their curiosity by opening the skirts of girls at school. Games such as doctor and housekeeping are also games in which they try to satisfy their sexual curiosity. In addition, they can attract the attention of the family and the teacher by playing with their genitals. This is exploration, and it’s often one of the ways kids seek attention. In addition, it is a very common situation that boys observe girls in the toilet.

The socio-cultural level of each parent is different. Therefore, their perspectives on sexual education and their answers to questions are also different. When children ask questions about their sexual development, it should be determined what exactly they are curious about. Sometimes it is wrong to explain to him about sex education when he asks a question that means something very different. For example; In the kindergarten he attended, a student from another city was admitted to his classes that day. The teacher may also have introduced the children in the class by saying, “A friend from the city of… Noticing this interest, the child may come home that evening and plan to attract attention by telling the teacher the next day whether he has lived in another city before and if he has. In this case, when he asks his mother the question “Mom, where did I come from”, there is no need to explain the birth event or sexual intercourse by saying “Okay, my child asked a question about sexual education, I’ll start to answer it”. When your child asks the question “Where did I come from”, “Where do you think you came from, what city or place?”, you can determine exactly what he wants to learn and give his answer accordingly.

After learning what exactly your child who asks questions about sexual development is curious about, it is necessary to pay attention to some points. First of all, what are your value judgments about sexual education? Secondly, how much accurate information do you want to give about sexual education or do you want to pass it off? Third, how old is your child and how well can he or she understand what you are saying? You need to make an explanation based on your answers to these three questions. There are certain issues that parents often wonder about sexual education.

Is it necessary to give information to the child about sex and reproduction?
Definitely yes. If parents don’t do it, someone will surely do it. Questions should be answered in plain language without hesitation. Those who are in close dialogue with their children will prevent them from learning the illegal information in the environment.

When should I inform my child?
Wait for him to ask questions. Usually, he will start asking questions from the age of 3-4. If he does not ask questions, it means that he is learning it from others. In this case, it would be useful to make some explanations by creating a suitable environment.

To what extent should I answer my child’s questions?
First of all, enough to satisfy your curiosity. If the parents feel inadequate for the moment, they should be informed and help from experts by saying “I will explain this to you as soon as possible” without hesitation. Speech disorders like being bored and not being able to start a sentence will attract the child’s curiosity more. Children understand very well the difference between the shape of the face of the parents when answering other questions and the shape of the face of the parents when answering such questions, and they become more curious by saying “There is something here”.

My child wonders how and where he came into the world, what should I do?
Every child will surely ask such a question one day. Boredom, shame, glossing over is not the solution. The storks brought you, we found you from the sea, we woke up one morning and the answers like you are with us are not true and today’s technology kids don’t believe these answers anymore. It should be noted that neither too detailed nor too plain answers are given. Answers appropriate for their age and sufficient to satisfy their age should be preferred.

Is it okay for my child to talk about sex with other children?
No, while giving him information, it should be said that some issues are very private, so it is not right to talk to everyone. When there is a problem, the benefits of sharing it with the family should be explained.

Does the child who knows about gender try to apply it?
Usually not, because their hormones are not as developed as adults. They just pass it off with games. If he understands that there is a reaction, he can increase it. It is helpful to follow up without giving up control.

Does not knowing about sexual education harm the child?
Yes, ignorance will cause the child to be open to false information and remain unprotected. It is natural for a misinformed child to make mistakes.

What happens if I don’t give my child sexual information?
Much. What happens when you don’t teach your child traffic rules, happens when you don’t give sexual information.

When does the child start to masturbate, is it harmful, how should I behave?
As soon as the child stimulates his genitals with his hands and begins to enjoy it, he begins to masturbate. It is not harmful. If punishment is given, it can have bad consequences. If he masturbates a lot, just state that you are aware of it. “Since you’re enjoying it, why don’t you find other jobs that you enjoy?” approach is positive. It is dangerous to ignore. Children who masturbate often worry their parents a lot. Especially, masturbation by girls upsets families twice as much. However, it should not be forgotten that nail biting is the same as behavioral disorders such as thumb sucking and lying.

Should I tell my child that there are abnormal people we see in society and on television?
Yes, the child should be told that there are abnormal people as well as normal people in the society. The child who has knowledge about this subject will be prepared when he encounters such people. Especially people who are called zenne and homosexual will attract more attention because they are different from the people around them. The explanation based on the concept of normal and abnormal will be useful.

Should I let my child come to our bed?
No way. However, in an important situation, it may be short-term in case of a frightening event (illness of parents, death of a relative, or a frightening event).

How can I prevent my child from suddenly coming into my room in the middle of the night?
First of all, it should be said that some rooms in the house are private. Parents also accept that the child’s room is private. Even if he knocks on the door while entering his room, the child will understand that the parents’ bedroom is a special place. Thus, the door will not enter without knocking.

Is it okay if I go to the bathroom with my child?
This issue depends on the parents’ preference. Although a 3-4 year old child does not care about the nakedness of his parents, he will realize this from the age of 4-5. At this age, it is beneficial for parents to cover a little.

My child has started speaking abusive words. When I say something bad is happening, it does it even more. What should I do?
Children have a special interest in words other than normal spoken words. It is based on attracting the attention of parents. It should be explained that swearing is wrong. If you do not react to the child’s abusive speech, he will understand that you are not interested and will stop this behavior. What should be remembered is not to give advice to the child, but to set an example with your behavior. It is not right for a father who speaks abusively while watching a football match while driving to be angry with his child because he is swearing.

How does the sexual identity of the child develop in the case of the divorce of the parents?
The younger the child, the greater the likelihood of being affected. If the boy stays with his mother, he will need a male model in the development of his sexual identity. If the girl is staying with the father, she will need the female model. The danger is especially for boys. Therefore, the child needs his father so much. Time spent with the father may need to be increased. If this is not possible, uncle, uncle, elder brother, grandfather or neighbors should be helped to set an example and spend time with him. For the girl child, aunt, aunt, grandmother etc. persons must be present.

What should we do when erotic scenes appear on TV when we least expect it?
Often the channel is changed. This situation causes two different reactions. First, the child becomes more interested because prohibitions generate interest. With a special interest in such scenes, he begins to watch secretly and may even go further and start practicing these scenes. The second reaction is to adopt the parents’ reaction. This attitude, which parents call bad and harmful, will generalize sexuality and will stay away from all kinds of publications and attitudes. What needs to be done is for all families to make a TV watching program. Children cannot be prevented from watching such scenes in a house where TV is watched 24 hours a day. The family should decide which programs to watch.

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.