School phobia – my child does not want to go to school

Is your child having trouble at school?

Doesn’t she want to go to school?

Does he worry excessively when school hours are approaching?

School phobia is when your child gives exaggerated reactions to school compared to their peers. Due to severe anxiety, your child becomes reluctant to go to school and does not want to go. This situation may be the first time he/she starts school or it may be revealed later on. Approximately 4-5 out of every 100 children describe what they feel as fear of school. The severity of this fear and anxiety, the extent to which it disrupts the continuity and harmony of the person is important in the clinical field. Children who show the behavior of not being alone at school and therefore avoiding going to school do not want to go to school over time. The term school phobia, which is defined in the category of separation anxiety (anxiety, anxiety) disorders in psychology, is more common in children attending kindergarten and starting primary school. Fear of school reveals various bodily symptoms on children. Since children cannot describe what they are feeling as fear of school, parents should consider the symptoms in their children’s bodies.

Parents of children with the following complaints should be more careful in this regard.

School Phobia Symptoms:


Abdominal pain, nausea-vomiting sensation,



Sleep disorders

Avoiding school responsibilities

crying for no reason

don’t be angry

Children who cannot bear these strains may want to come home from school, and may return home halfway. These preliminary symptoms can last for weeks. They are indifferent to homework. They can also express their reasons for not wanting to go to school as not liking the teacher or saying that they are disturbed by their friends.

So, what are the common features of children who develop this anxiety?

If you say why you are my child and not other children, I suggest you review them carefully. According to studies, children who develop school phobia are generally well-behaved, anxious for success, excessively demanding approval, and dependent on their families, especially their mothers. Overprotective parental attitudes reinforce this fear of children. Other triggering factors that cause this fear are the birth of siblings, divorces, stressful life events, humiliation at school, changing city. Regardless of the factor that causes it, the main fear is the child’s FEAR OF SEPARATION OF THE MOTHER. When we look at the personality traits of the parents of these children, similar personality traits emerge. Parents are afraid that something will happen to the child at school. They often come to school to check. As a general attitude, they want the child to be attached to them and support them in this direction. Parents are excessively giving and protective in their relationship with the child. The responsibilities of the child are made by the parents. Parents’ anxiety is made to feel the child. “I wonder if anything will happen to you?” The thought causes a lack of self-confidence in the child. When they are separated, they start to worry if something will happen to me.

So how to treat this fear of school?

1. If the child has physical complaints, a doctor should be consulted. If it is determined that there is no organic cause, it should be seen by a specialist psychologist.

2. The child should be approached with an encouraging attitude to talk about his feelings. Soothe, eliminate uncertainties like where you will be all day. Encourage her to cooperate with the school teacher in an emergency.

3. With a systematic approach, familiarize your child to school for 2 hours the first day, half a day the next day, and then a full day.

4. Do not forget that even one day you support your child not to go to school because you can’t hurt your child, you will reinforce your child’s fear and rewind everything.

5. The most important point to remember is that you MUST get rid of your own concerns first, so that the emotion you make your child feel is consistent with the sentences that come out of your mouth. You can apply for a specialist psychoeducation to change your wrong parenting attitudes.

best regards

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