After a long holiday, schools reopen on Monday. So tomorrow…
As a mother who sends her child to primary school for the first time, I am in a sweet excitement like every parent. My child will learn to read and write, and he will be able to read the story “Little Red Riding Hood” that I have been reading to him for years. It was like a kindergarten joke, but that’s true. It seems like now is the time to take on the responsibilities and difficulties of life. It’s like my little girl has grown up… The years will pass quickly in the blink of an eye, and I saw that she started university. Such an emotional excitement…
I hope it will be a good year; for us parents, our beloved children and our valued teachers. I need to write this article so that both to share my feelings and what should we pay attention to as parents, so that everything can be lived in the most beautiful way. There will be problems, of course. However, most of these problems are; It will be the kind that can be easily solved with the cooperation of the teacher, school and family. If we pay attention to some details that I will share with you, maybe we will have the opportunity to prevent these problems before they occur.
As parents, we have a lot of influence on our children. First of all, we need to be aware of this. We pass on our own concerns to our children. Even if we say, “I never show my concerns,” this is not possible. Every word we say, every look in our eyes, every change in our facial expression affects our children. We must know this first.
I always see that it is not a worried child, but a worried parent. So, let’s take a look at what we should pay attention to to reduce our own anxiety:
As the parents of our children who have started their first grade, please, let’s not think that our child’s childhood is over. He is still a child; will continue to play and run. This is their need. Life didn’t end just because school started. Just today, during my meeting with a mother, I saw that this was the main problem and I shared it. The most important thing in the 1st grade is that the child loves school and reading. This should be our main goal. Pages of homework have no other effect than to overwhelm the child. Small repetitions and reading stories appropriate to their level will suffice.
As the parents of our 1st grade children who have just started school, it is very important for us to know that our children have unique characteristics, their readiness (muscle development, mental development, emotional development) is different, and each child’s time and time are different. It is very important not to compare our children with their classmates, not to compare them with their older brothers and sisters, and not to set them as an example.
We must prepare emotionally for our child to start school. “Now that school is starting, we will have a slightly different lifestyle than the summer vacation. We’ll go to bed earlier and wake up earlier. You will spend less time on computer-television-tablet-phone than in summer vacation. You will play these again, you will watch them on TV, but how can we plan both your lessons and these?” time and rules should be determined together. These rules should not be broken unless there is a very unexpected problem.
School shopping should be enjoyed together. The excitement and happiness of the child should be shared.
Ask them how they feel and think about the school, talk to them and encourage anxious children.
The child should not be intimidated. Like ‘Look, if you misbehave, your teacher will get angry’… Negative comments should never be made about a teacher.
Our child should not be put into very exaggerated expectations. Like ‘You will have a lot of fun’, ‘You will have a lot of friends’…
He should be told that he will learn new things, make friends and do them according to the rules.
Responsibilities such as dressing, carrying the bag, feeding should be given to the child.
We should not turn assignments into wars. Homework is the responsibility of the child, not the parents. ‘Study’, ‘Do homework’ should not be said all the time. It is very painful for them to think that they are doing their homework and responsibilities for us and not for themselves. We must be determined and willing to do this. Patience for a few days and exploding on the third day is not a solution that works.
A busy year awaits students preparing for the exams. I wish them success. They should not see the exam as the meaning of life, the only solution, but as an opportunity for a good high school or university. Families should reevaluate their expectations according to their children and avoid pressure.
Things that our children should pay attention to; they must work regularly every day, they must trust their efforts and their expectations must be in line with their efforts.
As parents, Let’s be facilitators to our children, not guides. They too should have feelings, dreams, thoughts and unique behaviors. They won’t do everything we want. Which they shouldn’t… Being able to be self-sufficient individuals depends on how early we see them as individuals. They should be able to express their opinions to us easily, they should be able to say “No” so that they can say it outside as well.
We should try to see and understand our children as a whole; Let’s not just focus on their behavior. They have feelings, thoughts and dreams… “What does he care about other than himself?” Let’s give them a chance to understand. If we see our child as only behavior and result; We become focused on grades, points, success, rankings. Let’s not get hung up on academic success and lose sight of the integrity of our children. Every child is unique and special. We can try to find and support their areas of interest and talent.
Let’s not take their lives captive for them to do what we can’t do ourselves. Their life is theirs… Let’s just take care of the trust given to us.
Finally; Instead of being a prisoner of technology ourselves, the most important details are to allocate meaningful and valuable time to our children, to share and to accumulate memories. Because when we get older, these will remain in our minds…
Dear parents, teachers and dear students, I wish the new academic year to start and continue with good luck for all of us. With love…