Fear of school is the situation in which children refuse to go to school for various reasons. These reasons may originate from school or family.
When we question the past lives of children with school phobia, we see that their parents exhibit an overprotective attitude. Such an attitude, which undertakes almost everything that their children should do on their behalf, causes the development of feelings of dependency in the child. As a result, when the school time comes, it becomes difficult for the child to start school and get used to it. Because when the child goes to school from such a family environment, he/she is worried that he/she is unprotected together with the feeling of loneliness. As a result of all this, the child may not want to go to school.
Symptoms of School Fear
Physical complaints (head, teeth, stomachache, nausea, etc.)
Not being emotionally ready
· Separation anxiety, Mother’s worry, Stubborn child.
What to do?
1– In the pre-school period, the child should be given some responsibilities (gathering his belongings, adopting the rules of the house, etc.). The child, who cannot be given any responsibility during this period, will want to escape from the responsibilities of the school.
2– One should not be dependent on the child so that the child is not dependent on the mother. One of the important reasons for school fear is that the child cannot be separated from the mother. In fact, because mothers are dependent on their children, children become dependent on their mothers.
3– Avoid giving the impression that you do not want your child to go to school. Sometimes mothers may give signals that they do not want the child to go to school without being aware of it (thinking that the child will not be comfortable or unprotected at school and reflecting this on their behavior)
4– Attention should be paid to the words addressed to the child who has not yet started school. The school should not be perceived as a place to be afraid of. For example: Avoid statements such as “There is a lesson after this, there are no parents there, wait and see if you can do this there, don’t cry there, the teacher gets angry, these are the last games, there are lessons after this”.
5- If the child refuses to go to school, insisting and threatening the child to go to school will cause the child to go further away from school. Such attitudes should be avoided and help should be sought from the school guidance service.
6– Some parents are very insistent on their children doing homework and playing games. For example, in the middle of the game, they interrupt the game and remind them of the homework. In such a situation, the child misses the days when he does not go to school and is more comfortable and becomes alienated from school. Parents should involve more teachers in the lessons, and homework hours should be determined in advance, with the consent of the child, and a balance between play and homework should be provided.
With all these suggestions, it is useful to always be in contact with the guidance services in your school. You can get expert support from the Psychological Counselors at your school.
You love your child very much, but be careful not to harm him with your love. Because love doesn’t mean that you do everything he has to do for him. On the contrary, if you love him, try to raise him by giving him some responsibilities that he can do. Because you can’t be there for him all the time and do things for him. If you want your child to be an individual who knows his responsibilities and can stand on his own feet, trust him, love him and show it to him.