Ayben Ertem said, “Being overprotective is not the same thing as ensuring the safety of children,” and she said it beautifully.
From the moment a human baby is born, it is dependent on the person who will care for it. It is in the nature of the human infant. Studies have shown that babies die when there is no caregiver to provide these bonds.
This caregiving includes nourishment, love, play and protection from external factors. It is very important to review where we stand on this protection issue as a society. Protection or restriction?
From the moment the baby is born, some protection measures come into play. Lying position, head position at the time of vomiting, not having pillows and toys in the bed, using a sleeping bag instead of covering it with a blanket, etc.
Closing the sockets in the areas that he can reach when he starts to crawl, not leaving any cloth hanging down on the tables and coffee tables, not putting the objects that he can swallow, etc.
When he starts walking, taking security measures on the balcony, doors and windows, eliminating glass, cutters, piercing objects, installing a lock system on some cabinets, etc.
What if they don’t? One of the basic requirements of parenthood, “creating a safe environment for discovery for the child” is not fulfilled.
Play a scene like this. An 18-month-old boy entered a room of the house. A coffee table in the middle of the room with lots of trinkets and books, pots of flowers on the floor. Flowers in a glass jar, candles. When an 18-month-old eager to explore enters this room, you will either constantly say “don’t touch/don’t” to keep it under control, or “the child will run the risk of being harmed while trying to explore. Instead, you can provide the child with a space for exploration by taking safety precautions for the child.
You might say, “Didn’t he learn not to touch them?” Of course learn. But should he learn while he’s just starting to walk, open to discovery? Or should it safely recognize objects, understand what they are for, and then learn?
Are you ready to observe how much your relationship and communication with the child has changed after the safe exploration environment necessary for a child has been provided? “Stop, don’t!” Wouldn’t it be nice to watch your child play safely and introduce new objects without saying anything?
“I’ve made up my mind, mom, I’m going to go and find out where the stream ends. I want to know what’s out there, what’s in other places.”
Little Black Fish-Samed Behrengi