Romantic Relationship Problems: “We Don’t Get Along!”

Love is at the top of our basic needs in adulthood as it is in early childhood. Knowing our partner’s love makes us feel valued, confident and secure, just as a loved baby feels safe. Feeling loved is like having enough fuel for the tough journey of life. As you can imagine, not everyone’s love tank is full enough for their destination. When your love tank is empty, you may feel lonely and unloved, We can’t agree! You can summarize as. Maybe you don’t know each other’s love language?

You may not understand why your partner is unhappy and reproachful when everything is fine for you. We all grow up with different cultural subcodes and teachings, and we are shaped by different breaking experiences. For this reason, it is quite natural for our love language to differ, just as our identities, sensitivities, and perspectives differ. The important thing in a healthy union is to express our expectations clearly and to accept the difference in our love language. love language words of affirmation, quality time, gift giving, acts of service, and physical contactcan be divided into five.

How beautiful you look today!”, “I’m sure you can do this job.”, “I trust you.Verbal compliments and expressions of appreciation such as ” love language affirming words It is very meaningful for those. If your partner’s love language is affirmative words, all you have to do is think about the aspects you like and not complain about his negative features. Maybe the reason why he has been talking to you and sharing his thoughts until today is not because you find solutions to their problems, but to feel your support and being by your side. If you think the love language is words of affirmation, a small note or compliment for your partner will be more loving than all your efforts.

quality time It appears as both a need and a love language in romantic relationships. Although it is often thought of as doing an activity together, the truth is that couples can focus all their attention and attention on the same moment and each other for a certain period of time. Sometimes it can even be to share that silence. If your partner says that you don’t take time for himself, don’t chat with him, and is alone, you may think that his love language is quality time. It’s because he can’t spend time with you that makes him question his own worth.

If you are surfing social media while listening to your partner’s day, or if you are trying to improve your work while talking to him on the phone, there is no real unity. “You never talk to me” “Don’t you wonder what’s going on in my life?” The sentences “I am curious about your thoughts and feelings” are also signs of longing for quality conversation. In other words, it expresses your partner’s need for conversations based on mutual understanding and interest. All he needs is to “rest” while he tells you about his day or his problems. Making eye contact with your partner, staying with them in the shared moment, trying to understand their feelings are part of a quality conversation. Quality actions such as going on a picnic, going out to dinner, watching movies together, on the other hand, convey the message that you care about doing activities that you value.

For some, the language of love is a gift . The meaning of the gift is more important than the gift itself. Therefore, gift giving is not just about things bought with money. If your partner’s love language is gift giving, researching and gifting the things he or she loves is equivalent to the sentence “I love you”. It is also a kind of gift to be there for your partner in difficult times.

Your partner’s love language is to do the dishes, hang the laundry, help with the meal. service actions it could be. In this case, it means that your partner feels the emotions you feel while spending quality time, thanks to these help and service actions. You may go out to romantic dinners, hug your loved one, and often express that you like them. In this case, you may think that you are doing everything that should be in a romantic relationship. It’s helpful to remember that gifts, words of affirmation, or physical contact are not the right love language for an individual who is affected by the fact that their partner is helping them at the beginning of the relationship.

love language physical contact When it comes to those who do, we can say that many touches such as stroking the hair, massaging, holding hands, kissing and sexual intercourse are the fuel that will fill the love tank. If your partner’s love language is physical touch, acknowledging or spending time with them while crying is no more effective than a hug. Or, when you don’t show closeness because you are very tired at work, it can be evaluated as not being liked, missed or loved by your partner anymore.

Let’s imagine a couple unaware of each other’s love language. Let one’s love language be physical touch and another’s quality time. Is it possible for an individual who considers his partner’s physical distance from him to be unloved, to truly understand his partner who distanced himself from him because he could not spend quality time? On the one hand, “She doesn’t love me. Because he doesn’t want me to touch him.” On the other hand, his thoughts are “He doesn’t listen to me while having two conversations with me, but he doesn’t hesitate to touch me.” thoughts can put the relationship in a stalemate. In order not to experience such patterns, all we need is to verbally express our love language. Of course, our verbal expressions should consist of requests, not demanding attitudes and reproachful rhetoric.

While reading this article, you may have easily found your partner’s love language. If not, you can look for answers to these questions: When does your partner feel loved the most? What are the things your partner expects most from you? Or on what issues does your partner criticize you the most? Does your partner usually come to you with offers to go on a picnic, go out to dinner, or with questions to get your compliment?

Let’s not forget that discovering our partner’s love language is the key to connecting with them.

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