Maintaining kinship relationships is a difficult craft. It is even more difficult when there are such dysfunctional beliefs and behaviors regarding kinship relations in our country. According to some, kinship relations should be maintained despite these difficulties, according to others, it should be broken from the place where it is thinned. Things get a little more difficult when roles and job descriptions differ according to each family and each culture.
The most important criterion in kinship relations is “that your relationship does not harm your own nuclear family structure.” However, this rule applies to all members of the family. Every individual who has a role in the nuclear family should be involved in the event in his/her own field and present a healthy solution to the problem. “Sir, could you please explain the practical equivalent of this sentence with an example?” I asked myself the question for you. For example; You had a problem with your mother-in-law. First go through the reality test in your own world. Is the problem you are experiencing a real problem or do you add different meanings to the event due to the beliefs triggered in you? If it’s a real problem, focus on solving it instead of complaining. Talk about this situation with your spouse, not as a complaint-oriented, but solution-oriented. Again, do not demand that your spouse solve this problem by staying in the field of me. You can do it yourself in a healthy way. However, if your spouse wants to support you and be involved in the resolution process, accept it. As long as you are solution-oriented, as long as you create healthy boundaries, as long as you stop looking for your self-worth and competence belief in the behavior of your relatives, you will be in a healthy kinship relationship. As long as you provide the value, competence and freedom you seek with the investments you make in yourself (education, work, personal well-being studies, etc.), kinship relations that bore and suffocate you will leave its place to a healthy structure. If you have a question, you can leave it in the comment section.