I would like to mention the possibility that your parents, who are the owners of your inner voice, were also made to feel inadequate and defective in childhood. Maybe your parents also felt better about themselves in your childhood by making you feel inadequate, humiliating you. They may have damaged your emotional world to combat their own sense of imperfection. Perhaps your parent felt superior and accomplished while making you feel humiliated and inadequate.
In order to cope with your perception of imperfection, you feel the need to excel in one area. You want to suppress your belief that you are flawed by feeling more successful and empowered. By holding power, you want to tolerate the underlying feeling of inadequacy. Thanks to the existing protective shield, you will feel stronger and less hurt. But your reflection is mostly misleading. Your sensitive side is still with you. Deep down you still feel incomplete and flawed. Your true self that only you know is still fragile and scarred. While you look strong on the outside, inside you fight the feeling that it is flawed. The loser of this war is your true personality. Because it is extremely wearisome to appear stronger than the existing one.
Your perceptions of imperfection are often not based on an actual flaw. It is likely that your weaknesses were constantly highlighted by your parents, leading to the belief that you are flawed. The main thing is not the existence of the defect; how your parents and other family members treat you and how they make you feel. Even if there is a part of you that you really feel flawed, if your parents made you feel competent and valuable, you will not feel incomplete and you will not build a thought in this direction.
To change your own sense of imperfection, first try to understand your childhood sense of imperfection. What made you feel this way? Is it your parents’ attitude towards you? Constantly focusing on your shortcomings? The condescending looks when talking to you? Are your parents’ negative perceptions of you underlying your shame? Try to understand the root of your shame and inadequacy.
Who made you feel inadequate? Review your family relationships and try to understand how family members make you feel. Was it your father’s critical approach that hurt you the most? Or your mother’s contemptuous gaze? Do you always feel like you are doing something wrong with your brother? Did your parents always look for flaws in your gestures, facial expressions and behavior?
Try to remember the answers to these questions. Review what you have done to get rid of your sense of imperfection. Are you overly defensive of criticism? Do you constantly make statements in the face of the slightest criticism in order not to feel flawed in your adult life? Are you trying to establish a strong status for yourself to tolerate your sense of imperfection and inadequacy? Why is it so important to you that other people find you strong? Does influencing others make you feel less inadequate? Do you feel emotionally threatened in social situations where you are criticized?
Here are all examples of behavior patterns that show that you are trying to compensate for your sense of imperfection.