Quitting the Fight

Nothing is completely resolved. It comes together, then it disperses. It comes back together and falls apart again. That’s just how life is. Healing comes as you make room for all of this to happen; Space for mourning, for relief, for pain, for joy…

Pema Chodron

The balance between holding on to life and letting go… things really change when you can make a place in your heart for every change, uncertainty, unwanted and most importantly pain that life brings, and smile at the life standing in front of you with it. Whatever we resist, don’t want, push, persists, but when we accept and embrace what exists, we add value to our lives. While we hold on to our beliefs and dreams that we will be okay, we are liberated as long as we let go of what we cannot control.

I’m not talking about passive resignation, resignation, or resignation here. I have said before that we cannot control the emergence of emotions that cause us pain and sadness. On the other hand, we can control how we welcome them, our attitude towards them, and thus change how we experience these emotions. We can talk about its effects in our lives. And this is really important! While focusing on what we can control, quitting the fight about what we can’t control is one of the most important decisions that takes us from despair to hope. The first step is to accept the reality of pain. We may realize that there is also pain in life, that most of the things that hurt us are at the core of stress and anxiety from trying to control what is temporary and uncontrollable. Trying to control the moment results in a feeling that what is happening should not happen, and therefore struggle. Much of what causes heartache is because we want things to be different than they are. There are many things that are determined by our perspective on our lives and the journey we are on. And it is our mind rather than the road itself that determines whether we will make our journey bumpy or smooth.

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