Pursuit of happiness…

Most of us question whether we are happy. In today’s communication age, we reveal our happiness through social media. We are in a hurry to show others our most joyful, joyful moments. There are many books on the secrets of being a happy person, being a happy family and even raising happy children, various courses explaining the formula of being happy, health recipes, and beauty secrets. The subtext of the stream is: “Pursue happiness! Catch happiness!”

Is happiness something that needs to be pursued and caught, and is lost when caught? Is it what we expect from a lover, a job, money, a nice car, a house with a view to make us happy? In this state, happiness becomes a satisfaction that must be obtained from sources other than ourselves. It misleads us that we will be happy when we have it. However, we see that people are unhappy, complaining, and striving for more, even though they have multiple yachts. What they have is never enough for him. Others are content with what they have in their own little world, they are grateful for what they have, and they do not need more. Even without the need for property, he feels valuable, is connected to life, and enjoys existence and living.

So, is happiness a feeling that comes from within? Psychoanalytic theories define happiness as being comfortable in one’s own skin, enjoying this life while in this mind and body. Being comfortable in the skin evokes a different feeling of satisfaction than chasing and realizing wishes and desires. This is a state that points to connecting with what is in essence, what is happening in the moment, without the need for external sources.

Socrates said, “Happiness is possible through the capacity to enjoy less, rather than striving for more.” He argues that happiness is something that comes from within a person, not from outside. He says that instead of having wealth, power, fame and beauty, it is possible to add to one’s own life, to feed one’s own essence and the depths of his soul. According to Mevlana, one must first be aware of his essence. He must meet her, grasp his reality. He was able to reach happiness when he was able to connect with this essence, which he grasped with his opposite poles, for better or worse.

When we think of happiness as a destination to be reached or when we attribute it to a condition, we also move away from it. Because now there is a condition that must be fulfilled. We must either be more beautiful, richer, or stronger. Comparison with others begins. The human mind is open to conditioning from an early age. In other words, it is affected by its environment. Just like a flower integrating with the soil it is in. We are largely shaped by the environment provided to us as children, such as whether it has the space, air, moisture it needs for its growth, whether it reaches sufficient minerals, whether the soil is fertile.

Over time, we absorb and engrave the lives, experiences and expressions that are frequently repeated in the environment we grew up in. In other words, we internalize. For example, we learn that success is the way to reach happiness in an environment where the importance of academic success is often emphasized and where we see success and approval, value and acceptance. Our root belief “I am happy only if I am a successful, resourceful, strong person” is formed and consolidated without us being aware of it. In cases where this is the opposite, things may not always go as we imagined, sadness knocks on our door. A mind that has been conditioned to success and has attached its value, essence and happiness to the criterion of success, sees itself as worthless in the face of any uncertainty and feels defeated in the face of life. In this state, happiness overpowers the enjoyment and enjoyment of the journey of life, and happiness becomes as if it were a destination to be reached. Getting off at this stop becomes the ultimate goal of life. And unfortunately, a conditional feeling of happiness is tiring, exhausting, exhausting. In the pursuit of happiness, not being able to feel it completely wears out the human spirit.

So is there a formula for happiness? First, we can start by learning to stop happiness from being a criterion or a criterion, to stop seeing it as a stop, a point to be reached. We can focus on realizing that happiness is made up of small, short moments. Ricky Gervais, who plays a grumpy, cynical and resentful man who lost his wife to cancer, focuses on his loss and incessant pain in his TV series “After Life”, and one day a stranger he meets tells him; “We live not only for ourselves, but also for others. Happiness is extraordinary, so extraordinary that it does not matter whether it belongs to us or to anyone else”. And from that moment on, life begins to have meaning for this man, and he sees that making others happy is also a joyful, pleasurable side.

Unrealistic negative thoughts and beliefs lie at the root of depression. “I should always be happy and cheerful” is one of them. It creates the entire reality of man and makes life difficult because it is conditional. However, this is not possible because emotions fluctuate. Spirituality never progresses on a single plane. Writer Andrew Solomon, in his speech describing his depression that has been going on for years, says: “The opposite of depression is vitality, not happiness.” Vitality is a different form of existence than happiness. To realize that being alive is valuable enough is to be aware of our feelings, sensations, and experience of that moment. What we have is more important than what we do with what we have. Viktor Frankl’s contribution to the meaning of life, as readers, is indisputable. To those who ask what is my expectation from this life, “What does this life expect from you?” Frankl opens an unconsidered, unconventional door to happiness and makes us think about what really matters. Let’s have as much property, possessions and material in our lives as we want, what makes us exist, makes life colorful, is the moments where we create meaning, focus and add something from ourselves, and feel alive.

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *